Chapter 2: The Thanksgiving Rant

Published: Nov. 27, 2020, 9:42 a.m.

You want to know what I'm thankful for on Thansgiving? I'll tell you what I'm thankful for – I'm thankful for one goddamned minute of peace and quiet without something going wrong or the wife needing help or food smoking and setting off the fire alarm or the doorbell ringing or some deadline coming up quick and passing without being fulfilled or the cat meowing incessently for attention, that's what I'm thankful for. And for this goddamned peant butter cocktail. I'm actually very thankful for the goddamned peanut butter cocktail.