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Published: Feb. 6, 2023, 11 a.m.

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It\'s a rare, but not unheard of, doubled-up sponsor week where Mary and I both latched on to the same, relatively obscure moment of the show.

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Also, Jo / Jake / Jess continue their love triangle, which could have a hotter conclusion if Jake and Jess weren\'t brothers.  Unless, maybe that\'s why they keep stressing that they\'re half brothers?  Jo and Jess try to keep it on the DL, but they end up doing it on the wall next to Sydney and she tells Jake.

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Sydney makes a dangerous business deal with some drug dealers, so clearly Josie Bissett\'s constant complaints about having boring story lines was at least being heard, but not rectified.

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Matt meets a new boyfriend!  This one is straight and a plastic surgeon who only works on burn victims.  MATT!  RUN!  When the writers of Melrose Place give you a sexy guy, things are not going to go well for you.  They did have a rather "explicist" scene where Matt and boyfriend are both topless in the same apartment, but not in the same room of course, that would be too much.

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Kimberly breaks the Drill Sargeant\'s arm and is told she can leave camp today.  This morning.  Now.  Later, she is stealing a scene from one of those 90s witchcraft mean girls type movies by cutting the eyes out of Thomas Callabro\'s promo pictures surrounded by candles.  FIRE HAZARD ALERT!

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Amanda gave Michael a restraining order which he said he did not need to follow because "Mancini Mathematics says half of nothing is nothing."

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But, the gig is up for Alison,  Amanda successfully sets Alison up for a fall with the board, and her and Brooke pop champaign, loudly celebrating in the office that we\'ve already established IS NOT SOUND PROOF.  Remember Brooke hearing Alison yelling at Billy from inside?  Surely Billy could tell what\'s happening as CHAMPAIGN POURS OUT FROM UNDER THE DOOR!

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The queen is dead.  Long live the queen.

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