Podcasts Health Hope to Recharge Loving and Supporting a Loved One with BPD (Brina McNally)

Loving and Supporting a Loved One with BPD (Brina McNally)

Published: April 20, 2021, 1:58 a.m.

When Brina and Paul began to date, he was magnetic and charming. They had a connection from the first moment together having a drink. People at work had complained about Paul, saying he was aggressive and difficult. Brina never witnessed that side of him until about 6 months into their relationship, after Paul had too much to drink at a party. Not long after, Paul was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, after having been together almost 4 years and they had just gotten engaged.

Brina knows every side of him, so when he begins to act in unexpected or scary ways, she is able to see the hurting child within, who just wants to be loved. Often, his emotions and expressions don\u2019t match. He might be feeling happy, but he displays anger, because he breaks things. If he\u2019s feeling angry, he displays deep sadness, sobbing. With the help of therapists, Brina has learned how to help him communicate his emotions and needs and to accept and honor her needs as well.\xa0 She has learned to communicate clearly with him what her plans and boundaries are, so that he feels less abandoned when she needs to do something \u201cwithout him\u201d.\xa0

I asked Brina if she ever feels guilty for triggering a mental health episode in Paul\u2019s life. She explained to me how she understands that she is not responsible for the emotional response Paul might have to a choice that she has made. However, if she knows that something is likely to trigger him, she feels that she does have a responsibility, to at least prepare to make that choice, in the safest way possible. If Paul ever feels that Brina has knowingly hurt him, or vice versa, together, they choose a time when they can both calmly have a conversation about what happened.\xa0\xa0

Brina shared with me how much Paul has given to her and changed her life for the better. He is fun, energetic, and brilliant. When Brina comes up with\xa0 a hair-brained idea, he takes it as an intellectual challenge and figures out how to make it happen. Paul is able to draw her out of her shell, in ways she never thought possible. Without him, she might never have felt comfortable being on a podcast like this! Despite all the challenges, Paul has given her confidence and permission to dream of her own success.

Thank you for listening to Hope to Recharge! if we are important to you, help us out and Leave us a review on iTunes. It makes a huge difference!

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Work 1 on 1 with Matana - With our 1 on 1 coaching program, you can work directly with Matana. Get a free 30-minute fitting tryout call to see if this is right for you. You do not have to walk through your mental health struggle alone. Because as always, together is better!

There is no substitute for a listening ear. Get Your Free 30 Minute, 1 on 1 Consultation Today.

https://hopetorecharge.com/1on1/

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As we all know, sharing can help others. We are here to support each other and to learn from each other. In mental health, Together is better.

If you need more support in your mental health journey please reach out to us in our private Facebook group.

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Interested in joining our monthly Mastermind Group?\xa0

Find out more info here! www.hopetorecharge.com/Mastermind

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Connect with Brina:

Facebook

Instagram

     
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Quotes:

\u201cPeople that live with Borderline don\u2019t have to be alone.\u201d @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

\u201cNever go to the same therapist as your partner\u2026 they have this bias going into my treatment based on how they had treated him.\u201d @BrinaMcNally @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

\u201cGive yourself grace. Not every moment am I going to be madly in love with him. Not every moment am I going to have the most compassion for him, and not every moment am I going to keep my temper and my cool with him.\u201d\xa0 @BrinaMcNally @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

\u201cAbandonment is a huge issue for people with Borderline. Any time there\u2019s a perceived abandonment -- it doesn\u2019t even have to be an actual abandonment. It could just be you\u2019re getting up to go to the next room, and they\u2019re like, \u201cWait! Where are you going??\u201d\u201d @BrinaMcNally @MatanaJacobs #HopetoRecharge

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Topics Discussed:

  • How Brina came to be in a relationship with someone who has BPD
  • Seeing loved ones as people who are hurting and struggling to communicate
  • The misconceptions people have about those with BPD
  • How to lovingly support someone with BPD and still take care of yourself

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Suicide Hotlines:

USA: 1-800-273-8255
USA Crisis (Text): 741-741
Canada: 1-833-456-4566
United Kingdom: 116-123
Australia: 13-11-14
International Suicide Hotlines:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

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Today\u2019s episode of Hope to Recharge is sponsored by https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge.\xa0

Betterhelp.com is the world\u2019s leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life\u2019s challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere.

Head to https://Betterhelp.com/hopetorecharge for 10% off your first month of services. IMPORTANT: Be sure to click this link in order to get the 10% off code.

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