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Lyn is joined by returning guest self-worth coach, Fabienne Sandoval in this special 100th edition of the HEARTS Entwined podcast, to discuss the wounds inflicted upon the heart by abandonment; what causes them, how they manifest, and what we can do to move past these traumatic episodes towards a brighter future. KEY TAKEAWAYS Abandonment wounds are caused after a traumatic episode, in which we are left feeling lost and stranded by the departure of a parent, loved one, partner, or even in the wake of losing a job we really care about. The cultural difference between the way the western world and the rest of the world treat their children is a stark one. Whether or not we hold our offspring close, or leave them to their own devices in order to "harden" their emotions, can have a dramatic effect upon their relationships later in life. Abandonment shows up as a depletion of self-worth, which in turn can damage the relationships we hold dear. These insecurities can lead to unstable behaviour. We must learn to step back when these unstable behaviours take over, and look at the situation from a different perspective. By becoming more aware and taking this removed view, we can recognise that the root cause of these negative thoughts and behaviours is based in the abandonment wound. BEST MOMENTS 'It's easier to teach if you've been through it yourself' 'It's your responsibility to figure out how to self-soothe' 'It's a very polarised reaction. It's all or nothing' 'I would literally go back to my ten year-old self and I would become that small ten year-old girl' VALUABLE RESOURCES Hearts Entwined Podcast Apple Podcasts (iTunes) Spotify Stitcher ABOUT THE GUEST Fabienne Sandoval is an award-winning author and life coach. Her first book, Twenty8: The Age of Power, was awarded Best Self-Published Spiritual Book of the Year 2019 in the Soul & Spirit Book Awards. Her works have been featured in a number of publications including Kindred Spirit Magazine, Vegan Life Magazine and Mike Dooley’s The Universe Talks. Fabienne teaches busy, stressed out, professional women the secrets to transforming their lives through restoring their health, power and purpose with her 5-step Elevate coaching programme. She is the creator of Learning How To Love, a 10-day course which is featured on the Insight Timer platform, a commercially conscious platform for teachers and students. Fabienne is currently working on her sequel, Thirty: The Age of Love, where she shares her journey on learning how to love. Learning How To Love Fabienne has used findings from her ‘age of love’ to create a simple self-study 10-day course which will allow students to learn to love again, define what love means for them, and help them prepare for their greatest love story yet. The Learning How To Love online course is available through the Insight Timer platform: http://insig.ht/course_learning-how-to-love Recommended reading Attached by Dr Amir Levine and Rachel Heller: https://amzn.to/2AUkUcX  Adult Attachment Questionnaire If you would like a fully validated adult attachment questionnaire, you can log on to Dr. Chris Fraley’s web-site at: http://www.web-research-design.net/cgi-bin/crq/crq.pl Fabienne Sandoval - www.fabsthoughts.com ABOUT THE HOST Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now being in a soul fulfilling relationship which makes her feel alive, is full of passion and gives her inner peace. She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert / Trainer / Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts. Understanding the polarisation of masculine & feminine energy resulted in her creating massive attraction and a passionate, intimate, fulfilling relationship – that inspired her to design & present her own course programmes to share these break-through relationship techniques with women across the globe. HEARTS Entwined is a world-class service based on care and understanding, which is committed to providing step-by-step high-value love, dating and relationship solutions. Lyn makes a difference by helping you make a difference; she has a vision of contributing back on a global scale – to create a lasting legacy of safety, dignity and opportunity for children and women who have survived rape, abuse and severe trauma as a result of war crimes and sex trafficking – through the setting up of worldwide – ‘you can heal your life’ centres. CONTACT METHOD lyn@hearts-entwined.com   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.