Rebuilding Trust

Published: Sept. 25, 2019, 11 p.m.

Melissa Howard spent her life giving her trust to other people and then having it either broken or not reciprocated. This negatively impacted Melissa’s relationships, romantic, platonic and familial. In this very special conversation, Lyn discusses the issues Melissa has faced over the years, in the hopes of shedding some light on why they’ve taken place, as well as some practical steps to rebuild the trust that’s inherently important in any healthy relationship. KEY TAKEAWAYS Growing up Melissa was bullied in school. Conversely, as an only child her parents showered with love at home. This period also culminated in sexual abuse by a family member. This cauldron of experiences has negatively impacted Melissa ever since. When women feel threatened or unsafe, they quite often default to their masculine energy in order to protect themselves and feel in control. If they remain in this state, they can feel and appear less attractive to men on an instinctive level, as most men are more drawn to a woman's natural feminine energy. Awareness of our energy state takes learning and practice. Self-analysis is not usually a natural thing to do. It takes a prompt, and it’s remembering to give ourselves this prompt that can kick-start positive change. Silence can be an effective feminine response technique when faced with a potential argument / conflict. In those silences, your man can often hear his aggressive last words repeated back in his own mind and will give himself a far harder time than you ever could. If you don’t have respect and love for yourself, you won’t have respect, love and understanding on a deeper level from your partner. It all starts with you. BEST MOMENTS ‘Defaulting to her masculine energy is a woman’s way of feeling safe’ ‘Do you have the biggest balls in your relationship!’ ‘Awareness is the start’ A feminine response ‘I’m sorry you feel like that’ ‘It starts with you’   VALUABLE RESOURCES Hearts Entwined Podcast -Apple Podcasts (iTunes) -Spotify -Stitcher ABOUT THE GUEST Melissa Howard is an international Confidence Strategist, Speaker, Coach and Empowerment Photographer specialised in supporting overachievers who are ready to end their battle with self-sabotage and regain their kick-ass confidence. Committed to inspiring others to live with more confidence, health and happiness from the inside out, Melissa's mission is to inspire people to become who they were created to be so that they can live with true confidence and make a difference. Melissa is particularly passionate about bringing hope to those who struggle with perfectionism, self-worth, identity, body image and people pleasing tendencies. When Melissa isn't creating breakthroughs or taking snaps, Melissa loves catching sunsets with her fiancé and two rescue dogs back home in England. Website - http://www.e-volveglobal.com/media LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/e-volveglobal/?originalSubdomain=uk Instagram - @evolvewithmelissa - https://www.instagram.com/evolvewithmelissa/   ABOUT THE HOST   Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert   Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now being in a soul fulfilling relationship which makes her feel alive, is full of passion and gives her inner peace.   She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert / Trainer / Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts.   Understanding the polarisation of masculine & feminine energy resulted in her creating massive attraction and a passionate, intimate, fulfilling relationship – that inspired her to design & present her own course programmes to share these break-through relationship techniques with women across the globe.   HEARTS Entwined is a world-class service based on care and understanding, which is committed to providing step-by-step high-value love, dating and relationship solutions.   Lyn makes a difference by helping you make a difference; she has a vision of contributing back on a global scale – to create a lasting legacy of safety, dignity and opportunity for children and women who have survived rape, abuse and severe trauma as a result of war crimes and sex trafficking – through the setting up of worldwide – ‘you can heal your life’ centres.   CONTACT METHOD lyn@hearts-entwined.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.