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"The Queen Of HEARTS” Lyn Smith, is joined by Rob Ryles to talk about the subject of masculinity and what the difference is between healthy and unhealthy (toxic) masculinity. KEY TAKEAWAYS For many, healthy masculinity is recognised by virtues such as strength, determination, courage, bravery and decision-making. But Rob is keen to disassociate these qualities from being exclusively male traits, as they can also apply to anyone, regardless of their gender. There is a balance of masculine and feminine energy in all of us, but usually we have one core, natural dominant energy. There is a growing trend where all masculine characteristics whether healthy or unhealthy are being perceived as negative. The media’s highlighting of bullying, abuse and violent conflicts - masculine energy is being blamed and portrayed as a very negative force in the world, resulting in men now being scared to show even their healthy masculine traits.  There does seem to be a misunderstanding and poor education surrounding what's healthy masculinity and what's unhealthy masculinity. Chivalrous, protective and assertive behaviour are all healthy masculine traits, aggressive, possessive and controlling behaviour are all unhealthy masculine traits all of these traits are not gender specific and can also be found in women. Uncertainty about the effects of masculine and feminine upon our own personalities has perhaps arisen because of the current uncertainty about the roles of men and women in society, and of the ever-compartmentalising of gender roles and definitions. It’s unfortunate that sometimes masculine energy is perceived as unhealthy aggression instead of healthy firm decisiveness or assertiveness. This is a particular problem in the workplace, and can lead to men being afraid of asserting themselves for fear of being portrayed as aggressive. The energy we employ in order to communicate, or to do our jobs, often depends upon the environment we find ourselves in, and will depend upon an entire array of life experiences and attitudes that cannot simply be conformed to suit a universal ideal of how we should act at all times. The future of healthy masculinity, especially in sports, is showing young men how to control their levels of unhealthy aggression and any other unhealthy emotions they have and channel it all into behaviours and activities that allow them to be assertive in positive healthy ways. BEST MOMENTS ‘As men, we have to stand up and accept that, and rightly so’ ‘Women do want and are attracted to healthy masculine energy’ ‘You act appropriately in any given situation’ ‘They say that the easiest boxer in the world to defeat is one that’s angry’ VALUABLE RESOURCES Hearts Entwined Podcast -Apple Podcasts (iTunes) -Spotify -Stitcher Leader Manager Coach Podcast Rob Ryles’ Website   ABOUT THE GUEST Rob is an experienced coach and sports professional having worked in the football industry at International and Premier League level, he has a passion for leadership and runs a weekly podcast ‘Leader Manager Coach’, where he takes deep dive "examining knowledge, philosophies, wisdom and insights to help you lead, manage and coach in football, sport and life”. Rob is blessed with three children who are now making their way in the world. CONTACT METHOD  Rob’s Facebook  Rob’s LinkedIn Rob Ryles’ Website ABOUT THE HOST Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert  Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now being in a soul fulfilling relationship which makes her feel alive, is full of passion and gives her inner peace. She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert / Trainer / Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts. Understanding the polarisation of masculine & feminine energy resulted in her creating massive attraction and a passionate, intimate, fulfilling relationship – that inspired her to design & present her own course programmes to share these break-through relationship techniques with women across the globe.  HEARTS Entwined is a world-class service based on care and understanding, which is committed to providing step-by-step high-value love, dating and relationship solutions.  Lyn makes a difference by helping you make a difference; she has a vision of contributing back on a global scale – to create a lasting legacy of safety, dignity and opportunity for children and women who have survived rape, abuse and severe trauma as a result of war crimes and sex trafficking – through the setting up of worldwide – ‘you can heal your life’ centres.   CONTACT METHOD lyn@hearts-entwined.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.