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b'To Create a Habit, Tell a Good Story

If you want to create a new exercise habit (for example), you might tell yourself something like this:
\\u201cThis is going to be amazing, I\\u2019m going to get fit and look incredible and be super healthy!\\u201d
This is a story you\\u2019re telling yourself. It\\u2019s not real, but it has tremendous power to affect your feelings about your habit, and to change your action. You have a positive story about the habit, and it motivates you to take action.
But perhaps the exercise you did one day was really tough, and you didn\\u2019t enjoy it. Your story might change, to something like, \\u201cWow, that was super hard. It sucked!\\u201d
Now your story about the habit is not so good, and you\\u2019ll be less enthusiastic about doing the habit from now on.
Maybe you also missed a couple of days of exercise because you got busy. Your story changes to, \\u201cDamn, I screwed up, I\\u2019m not as good at this habit as I thought, why am I not disciplined?\\u201d
The story isn\\u2019t so good. Now you might actually try not think about the habit, and you are much more likely to skip the habit from now on.
The story you tell yourself about your habit matters more than most people realize.
So the key is to shape the story, become your own habit storyteller, and create a story that will make you more likely to stick to the habit.
Telling a Good Story
The truth is that none of these stories is actually true. They\\u2019re just narratives we have made up, in our minds, about what\\u2019s going on. The reality is what\\u2019s happening right now, and in an \\u201cideal\\u201d world we would just drop the stories and be present with the moment, experiencing reality as it is.
There\\u2019s no such thing as an ideal world, though. We tell stories. That\\u2019s what we do. So the key is to realize when you\\u2019re telling a negative story that\\u2019s going to make you quit the habit, and instead create a more helpful story.
Try this:
1.\\tAsk yourself how you feel about the habit you\\u2019re creating. Are you psyched about it? Are you discouraged? Looking forward to it or dreading it? Feel strong about it or feel like you\\u2019re doing lousy? Is it a wonderful experience for you or are you ploughing through the suckiness? This is all an indicator of what story you\\u2019re telling yourself.
2.\\tStart creating a better story by focusing on the things you love about the habit. You could focus on how much you hate the habit, or you could focus on what you love. It\\u2019s your choice. Find things to appreciate about the habit. Look at your successes and think, \\u201cMan, that\\u2019s awesome that I\\u2019ve done those things.\\u201d
This is not to say that you should only think positive thoughts, or that you should ignore the negative. But if your story is on the balance more positive than negative, you\\u2019ll be more resilient. You\\u2019ll be able to handle the negative stuff with grace, because you have a positive feeling about the habit.
If you resent doing the habit, or see it as a sacrifice, you\\u2019re more likely to blow the negative aspects up when they happen. But people with a strongly positive story will be likely to weather the storm of negative aspects of the habit.
The Positive Story Exercise
Try to think about some of the following thoughts when you\\u2019re working on your habit:
1.\\tThis makes me feel strong/healthy/empowered (or some other positive trait).
2.\\tI am proud of doing this habit.
3.\\tI have had some great successes with this.
4.\\tI\\u2019m learning a lot with this habit.
5.\\tI\\u2019ve had good experiences with this habit.
6.\\tThere are some exciting things about this that I\\u2019d like to share with people.
7.\\tI can appreciate the little things about this habit.
8.\\tThere are things I genuinely love about this habit.
9.\\tThis can sometimes be a struggle but it\\u2019s definitely worth it.
10.\\tThis habit is improving my life an multiple ways.
11.\\tI\\u2019m lucky to be able to do this habit.
12.\\tThere are things about this habit that I look forward to.
13.\\tI\\u2019ve missed doing this habit sometimes, but over the long run it doesn\\u2019t matter.
14.\\tDoing this habit makes me more resilient.
15.\\tWhen I\\u2019ve done this habit, I feel accomplished and satisfied.
16.\\tI feel like a better person when I do this habit.
Just think about one of these each time you do the habit, or just after. And then try another one on the next time you do the habit.
Slowly, with thoughts like these and others you might think of, you\\u2019ll start to have a more positive story about the habit.
And that will make all the difference \\u2014 not only will you want to stay with it longer, you\\u2019ll enjoy it more each time you do it.
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