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Imagine a friend or loved one comes to see you with a problem.  They are wrestling with a dilemma.

Should I stay where I am at in my current job, or should I take a risk and take a new job?

Should I break up with my current boyfriend or girlfriend?

Should we be open to moving cities, to starting all over again?

Somebody offended me. Should I talk to the person, or do I let it go?

They are open to your advice.  They are seeking your wisdom.  Now further imagine that having heard their take on their dilemma, you have an opinion on the merits of what they might do.

How we can be most helpful to the person who turns to us?

Adam Grant, a professor at Penn, recently posted a teaching  about the difference between what he calls good mentors and great mentors:

Good mentors share lessons from their experience. Great mentors help you crystallize lessons from your experience.

Good mentors give useful answers. Great mentors help you ask better questions.

Good mentors walk you through their path.  Great mentors help you identify your path.