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Behind every highlight reel you see, there is a behind the scenes that you don\u2019t.

Don\u2019t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.\xa0Love each other with genuine affection,\xa0and take delight in honoring each other. Romans 12:9-10 (NLT)

What is the \u201cBehind the Scenes\u201d of a successful marriage?

1. A husband and wife who MUTUALLY RESPECT each other.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands\xa0as you do to the Lord.\xa0For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,\xa0his body, of which he is the Savior.\xa0Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands\xa0in everything. Husbands, love your wives,\xa0just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her Ephesians 5:22-25 (NIV)

Submit to one another\xa0out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)

As a prisoner\xa0for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy\xa0of the calling\xa0you have received. Ephesians 4:1-3 (NIV)\xa0

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another\xa0in love.\xa0Make every effort to keep the unity\xa0of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:1-3 (NIV)

Mutual respect breeds mutual trust, which creates mutual intimacy.

1. A husband and wife who engage in HEALTHY CONFLICT

A marriage that doesn\u2019t shy away from conflict\u2026 grows closer THROUGH conflict.\xa0

\u201cIn your anger do not sin\u201d:\xa0Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,\xa0and do not give the devil a foothold\u2026 Ephesians 4:25-32 (NIV)\xa0

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,\xa0but only what is helpful for building others up\xa0according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:25-32 (NIV)\xa0

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God,\xa0with whom you were sealed\xa0for the day of redemption.\xa0Get rid of\xa0all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Ephesians 4:25-32 (NIV)\xa0\xa0

Be kind and compassionate to one another,\xa0forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:25-32 (NIV)

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone\xa0and to be holy;\xa0without holiness no one will see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14-15 (NIV)\xa0

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God\xa0and that no bitter root\xa0grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:14-15 (NIV)\xa0

Where we don\u2019t make every effort\u2026 we will ALWAYS allow bitterness to take root.

You don\u2019t have to love healthy conflict, but learn to love the RESULTS of it.

1. A husband who LEADS and a wife who COUNSELS

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. Proverbs 21:19 (NIV)

Submit to one another\xa0out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21-24 (NIV)

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands\xa0as you do to the Lord.\xa0For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,\xa0his body, of which he is the Savior.\xa0Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands\xa0in everything. Ephesians 5:21-24 (NIV)

Leadership is never about RIGHTS; it\u2019s about RESPONSIBILITY.

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the\xa0Lord. Proverbs 18:22 (NIV)

Husbands, love your wives,\xa0just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her\u2026 Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV)

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives\xa0as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28 (NIV)

Husbands,\xa0in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3:7 (NIV)

1. A husband and wife who fight for a RHYTHM of PURSUIT.

\u201cFor this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.\u201d Ephesians 5:31-33 (NIV)\xa0

This is a profound mystery\u2014but I am talking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-33 (NIV)\xa0

However, each one of you also must love his wife\xa0as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:31-33 (NIV)

Love and respect are not duties to be performed, but the privilege of pursuit.\xa0

Comfort is never the goal in marriage\u2026 an equal pursuit that resembles the passion of Jesus is.

Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel. Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses. How beautiful\xa0you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights! Song of Songs 7:5-10 (NIV)

Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts\xa0like clusters of fruit. I said, \u201cI will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.\u201d May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. Song of Songs 7:5-10 (NIV)

May the wine go straight to my beloved, flowing gently over lips and teeth. I belong to my beloved, and his desire\xa0is for me. Song of Songs 7:5-10 (NIV)

1. A husband and wife who focus on PERSONAL CHANGE.

The work you want God to do in your marriage will always begin with the work He wants to do in you.