What to Do as a Friend if Someone Dies

Published: April 30, 2014, 8:38 p.m.

How do you react to the news that someone has died? Are you aware of who to call to offer sympathy, and what types of things you should say? If you’re not sure how to be a friend when someone dies, then you it could make for an awkward situation.

Coming to terms with the fact that someone has passed away is difficult for many people. Knowing how to be a friend to the family and friends left behind can ease the situation. Does this describe how you handle the news of someone’s death?

If you’re interested in learning how to better handle these situations, then invest a few minutes to listen to this edition of Forever in their Hearts where your host Erik Reynolds interviews Dale Martin Jr., President of Martin Brothers Funeral Services in Vancouver, about what you can do as a friend after someone dies.

The death of a loved one is stressful. The Canadian Mental Health Association* says that grief varies greatly from person to person, and is a necessary part of the mourning process. This interview is a chance to learn how you can be a friend to those in their own time of grief.

How to Reach Out in Friendship to Those Who Are Grieving

With the variety of ways to commemorating a lost loved one, it can be difficult to know what to do in reaction to the news that someone has died. The episode kicks off with Dale explaining whether it’s okay to call the family after someone they love passes away.

Then Dale goes on to suggest specific examples of how you can reach out to someone whose loved one has died. These things might seem simple, but they are telltale signs of being a true friend.

If you’re not sure when to reach out, or what to say and do, then you could be missing out on the opportunity to be a real friend.

What to Say or Do When Someone Is in Mourning

Next Dale discusses what to do and say during your visit to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. He also offers these questions:

- Is it okay for me to say the deceased’s name?
- Should I send flowers to the funeral home?
- Could I make a donation instead?

Now ask yourself these questions: Do you know how to be a friend when someone dies? Are you comfortable talking with their loved ones during their time of grief? If you answered no to either, then it is time to learn what you can do and say to help ease the stress.

How to Respectfully Commemorate a Loved One’s Passing

Dale’s family has more than a century’s worth of experience in helping mourners know how to be a friend when someone dies. This includes selecting flowers to be sent to the home or funeral service.

Some families request a donation instead of flowers. Dale offers suggestions for how to respect the family’s wishes when commemorating a loved one’s passing.

Knowing what to say and, more importantly, what not to say can relieve the stress in this sensitive time. Dale offers a tip for the one thing you can avoid doing to always be safe. Will you use this tip if you’re faced with this situation in the future?

The episode wraps up with Dale sharing his final thoughts about how to be a friend when someone dies, and how to help others be a friend to your family in the event of your own passing.

What Type of Friend Are You to Someone Who Is Grieving?

Are you prepared to help relieve the stress of someone who is grieving? Do you know what to say, or more importantly what not to say? Listen to the entire podcast now.

Then if you have questions or experiences of your own to share, please include them in the space below. We look forward to discussing them with you.

Martin Brothers Funeral Services has more than 100 years of experience in providing thoughtful, dedicated services to families dealing with loss. If you are ready to take care of funeral pre-arrangements, have additional questions about their services, or are dealing with a loss, please contact them at their Vancouver office.

Martin Brothers Funeral Services

Vancouver: Funeral Services Centre
3398 Dunbar Street
Vancouver, BC Canada V6S 2C1
Telephone Number: 778.330.7799
Toll Free Number: 1.800.382.2901
Fax Number: 778.330.7633

Chapel of Hope: Funeral Home
1270 Ryder Street
Hope, BC Canada V0X 1L4
Telephone Number: (778) 330-7799
Fax Number: (604) 869-2295

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MartinBrothersFuneralChapelsBcLtd
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/martinbrothers1

*http://www.cmha.ca/mental_health/grieving/#.U0AzePldUrU