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b"Abusers who leave a relationship are as rare as steak tartare. \\n\\nIn fact, waiting for an abuser to leave is similar to waiting for them to change.\\n\\nOr asking for a hippopotamus for Christmas. Riding a unicorn. Losing weight on a cake-only diet.\\n\\nNot likely.\\n\\nIf abusers are so unhappy with their victims, why don\\u2019t they leave first? Because staying fits within the point of abuse: to control you. And unless he\\u2019s discovered an excellent and easy alternative, you\\u2019re an endless supply for your emotional abuser\\u2019s selfishness. \\n\\nOn top of that, if you\\u2019re a Christian woman, he knows you take your vows seriously. He\\u2019s counting on you to stick it out, no matter what. He\\u2019s got \\u201cGod\\u201d on his side. \\n\\nFinally, when he mistreats you, like any sane person or hurt puppy, you react, and it ain\\u2019t pretty. You\\u2019re so ashamed of your behavior. He knows it. So instead of focusing on the harm he\\u2019s doing, you\\u2019re consumed by what a failure\\u2014a raging, bitter wretch of a person\\u2014you feel like. And you wonder: Am I the abuser? \\n\\nYou\\u2019re stuck between a boulder (an impossible, destructive marriage) and a hard place (your paralyzing beliefs). \\n\\nWhat now?\\n\\nThis episode is full of answers:\\n\\n- Where I got $1.75 (and you can too!)\\n- Why your choice to stay or leave your abuser is less important than your reasons \\n- My relation to a judgy jerk (she looks like me, she sounds like me, but I swear, she isn\\u2019t me\\u2026anymore) and the hope that should give you\\n- An abuser\\u2019s approach to counseling and change versus a survivor\\u2019s (one involves kicking and screaming)\\n- Two analogies to solve your shame and restore your power steering: dogs fighting and a locked car in a parking lot.\\n\\nListen or download the transcript at flyingfreenow.com/175\\n\\nFREE: I'll send you the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Just hop on my mailing list at flyingfreesisterhood.com/free-download. (I will NEVER spam you or sell your information.)\\n\\nDesperate for real help and safe people who understand what you're going through? Find out about my online education and support program for women of faith at joinflyingfree.com\\n\\nAnd, if you are an already divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, have amazing relationships, build a business or career, or even find a good man - check out joinflyinghigher.com"