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b'Big news!!....the Liverpool amphibious Duck sunk in the Albert Dock\\u2026.and everyone had to swim for it\\u2026.several of the tourists ended up in hospital and most were rescued\\u2026calamity or what?\\u2026they are blaming a tyre which was floating in the dock and got caught around the propeller\\u2026.can\\u2019t see that though\\u2026.I have a possible theory\\u2026.it apparently passed all the safety tests but hey it\\u2019s a world war 2 job\\u2026.I think there will be a bit of suing going on\\u2026especially when the solicitors get their teeth in\\u2026..and\\u2026guess what\\u2026it\\u2019s the same duck that the Queen and Prince Pip were on last year\\u2026.close or what?\\n\\n In Racing, Royal Ascot is underway\\u2026and the dress code was announced on tele\\u2026.ties NOT cravats must be worn and top hats must be black etc etc\\u2026.what a load of pretentious tripe\\u2026.this is the reason I hate golf clubs\\u2026\\u201dOh you must have a collar on your shirt when on the course and you must wear a jacket and tie in the bar etc etc\\u201d\\u2026..give me a break !!!!....try moving into the 21st century.\\n \\nThere is a programme on the tele called \\u201cThe Call Centre\\u201d and it is hilarious\\u2026.it\\u2019s about a huge call centre in Swansea with an over the top boss\\u2026the characters are great as they deal with the general public who do not want to know\\u2026I\\u2019m not a lover of reality programmes\\u2026I think they are a cheap option but this one is great television\\u2026.makes you a bit more sympathetic to cold callers.\\n \\nHow about the cricket team in Norfolk who have been told they can\\u2019t use hard cricket balls anymore for health and safety reasons\\u2026they can only use the hard ball in the nets\\u2026when they are on the pitch it has to be a TENNIS BALL\\u2026\\u2026as you can imagine the 100 year old club has ignored the power crazed health and safety department\\u2026and has been BANNED from it\\u2019s own ground\\u2026good stuff eh?\\nnd finally\\u2026.you can no longer report U.F.O.s\\u2026.because the department you report them to has decided to close\\u2026...they mentioned one case on the tele about a guy who went camping and his car and his dog and his TENT were abducted by aliens\\u2026I wonder if the camp site charged him.'