BROADCASTS.com

b'The song this week is very educational...it is entitled *Greenfly in my Trusses" and was an idea I came up with back in the day when my mate the late Norman Thomas of Radio City commented that he was on his allotment and was horrified to find greenfly in his trusses....this began a series of incoming comments from the public with hilarious results...so I decided to write a song dedicated to him featuring all the problems you can have in a garden....the song is wonderfully performed by Peregrine Wilt (aka Paul Damian) and tells the story of love lost on a corporation allotment...the words might seem a bit odd but the details are accurate down to the last detail...listen to this and you could become a professional gardner.\\n2.Are we sick and tired of hearing about Trump and Teresa May or what?!!!...the guy gets hold of her hand to prevent her slipping BECAUSE THERE WAS A SLOPE that\'s it.....but oh no the media pile in making an issue out of nothing...and we\'ve got demonstrations in the streets because Donald has been invited to meet the Queen...and none of the demonstrators have a clue why they are waving stupid banners around....they even have toddlers waving banners....there is NO hope......do they think her Maj gives a toss one way or the other?....or maybe they all think they might all get an O.B.E.?....who do they think they are - Ant and Dec?....as always the media just make matters worse.\\n3.The "scientists" have been at it again..."research" has uncovered the fact that primary school children learn more if...wait for it...they wear slippers....so along with their lunch they now bring in their fluffy footwear....it\'s only in one school at the moment as far as I can gather....so there you are...I wonder what happened to discipline?.... And Kodak must have shedloads of film left over since everyone bought digital cameras....they even made a classic statement to the effect that rolls of film are making a comeback....people are going out and buying FILM of their cameras...because FILM is better quality and "warmer" than digital.....what a load of tripe....as if we are going to buy rolls of film and PAY for it to be developed....nice try Kodak good luck with that one.....mind you the stupid demonstrators will probably fall for it.\\n4.We have obviously given up with Eurovision....this year the public have been subjected to a selection of songs sung by X Factor also rans.....and it\'s the viewers vote that counts friends....there was only one song which was almost bearable and needless to say that wasn\'t the one we voted for....oh dear....if the contest is judged on who can shout the loudest we are in with a chance....the girl is doubled over at one stage bellowing out the song.....I don\'t know why we bother....obviously someone is making money...probably Simon Cowell.....it\'s a big Nil Pwa from me.\\n5."Mothers" are OUT!!....they must now be called "Parents".....as in "expectant PARENT"....this is so the 1% of transgender parents are not offended....there is absolutely nothing I can add to this. It reminds me of the time when I was working for Merseyside County Council and the Trading Standards burst into a chip shop and told the owner he couldn\'t call his hamburgers hamburgers....as they did not contain ham....they were in fact "savoury rings"....so the guy put a huge notice in his window "OUR HAMBURGERS ARE NOW SAVOURY RINGS"....that\'s why Liverpool is such a great place.'