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In this episode, Robert speaks with leadership coach Tripp Lanier to look at the quagmire of self-development -- particularly in leadership and “men’s work.” Between the space of forfeiting a sense of identity and needs and desires lies a balance where men get to be vulnerable and still sovereign. Can men walk this line with the proper intentions and a will to enjoy life at every turn? We explore all the challenges and blessings of self development. (Warning: this episode has some vulgar language)

Some of the topics we explore:

- Our most common excuses to avoid taking risks
- Laughing at our fears and shortcomings
- How to have the courage to share appreciation or constructive feedback
- What would you do if you could do whatever you wanted without consequences?
- Our inevitable mortality

Show Notes:

1:06 - Introducing Tripp

2:15 - The New Man Podcast

3:13 - Not only chasing spiritual development, looking for lasting change

5:25 - Anything can be turned into an escape

7:04 - Is fear good? Is fear used as an excuse for escape?

8:13 - Do I have to believe every fear I have?

8:36 - We’re trying hard to avoid our human experience

9:31 - Discernment around fear

11:08 - Chesterton’s Fence— do we jump over or respect the fence?

14:15 - The destructive impulse of the postmodern age

15:16 - The nuance of relationship

17:42 - Nice Guy Syndrome

18:35 - Posturing and collapsing

20:20 - Leading vs. waiting

21:11 - The fear of death

21:32 - When fear becomes noise

23:25 - These phantoms in our minds are gargoyles on the threshold

25:10 - Relief vs. peace of mind

27:17 - Saying “no” to one thing is really saying “yes” to what’s more in alignment

28:28 - Adding things vs. removing things

30:17 - Emotions as a doorway to information

30:57 - Freedom, aliveness, love, and peace

34:24 - The exoneration mindset

37:50 - Story from Invisibilia on oil rig workers

38:54 - The identity piece

43:07 - Moving the fear dial as a form of strength

49:00 - Fun as currency

51:05 - The antidote to fear is being bold