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Published: May 8, 2018, 3:30 p.m.

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Hello everyone! Welcome back to Childless not by Choice, where my mission is to recognize and speak to the broken hearts of childless not by choice women, and men, around the world. \\xa0Civilla Morgan here! I am spreading the great news that we can live a joyful, relevant, and fulfilled life, although we could not, did not, have the children we so wanted.

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• Patreon Contributors: (Patreon contributors are those who have taken an interest in my platform whether they fit the childless not by choice demographic or not. They have decided to contribute a certain dollar amount on a regular basis to help fund my dream of creating awareness and conversation for the childless not by choice community globally. Click the Patreon link for details and to become a Patron!)

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https://www.patreon.com/21stcenturyhannah

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• Jordan Morgan

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Well, today we have a special guest!

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Intro: Chelsea Patterson Sobolik says about herself, \\u2018There are many ways I could describe myself \\u2013 wife, author, Congressional staffer, daughter, friend, lover of coffee, fresh flowers, and acoustic music, but the most important thing to know about me is that my heart, mind, and soul belong to my Savior, Jesus Christ. He saved my soul from the eternal separation that I rightly deserve due to my sin, adopted me, redeemed me and calls me His own.

When I\\u2019m not writing, I\\u2019m working my full-time job, as a Legislative Assistant on child welfare policy on Capitol Hill \\u2013 basically, I get to help work on policies that would make adoption and foster care better, and help improve the lives of children.

My heart lights on fire whenever I get to write or talk about adoption! A large part of that stems from the fact that I was adopted from Bucharest, Romania as a child. Apart from my salvation, being adopted is the greatest gift I\\u2019ve ever received. I grew up in North Carolina, with five adopted siblings from Eastern Europe! \\xa0I am a graduate of Liberty University.

My husband Michael and I call Washington D.C. home as of a couple of years ago, and it\\u2019s been the adventure of a lifetime. While I do miss parts of the south \\u2013 for instance, people smiling at me and being generally more kind, D.C. quickly became home. I live on Capitol Hill, just a few blocks away from the Capitol, and \\xa0I work for one of my heroes. DC stole my heart, and I love getting to do life here.

Welcome, Chelsea!

Well, I think I wrote down 20 questions and points that stood out to me as I read your book. It was so hard to pull out just a few. But let\\u2019s get started!

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1. The Gospel Coalition website has a blog post you wrote back in January 2017. \\xa0I\\u2019ve put the link to that post in the show notes under your contact information. But some of us were not able to adopt.

In fact \\u2018why don\\u2019t you just adopt\\u2019 is a question every childless not by choice woman I know has been asked.

It\\u2019s actually a pet peeve in the childless not by choice community, because if we had wanted to or were able to adopt, we would have.

The average adoption these days is about $30k. Your job description is to work \\u2018as a Legislative Assistant on child welfare policy on Capitol Hill \\u2013 basically, I get to help work on policies that would make adoption and foster care better, and help improve the lives of children.\\u2019

Was that on purpose? Do you ever have moments when you feel left out?

2) As I read the foreword to your book \\u2018Longing for Motherhood, the author of the foreword said, he \\u2018fully expects that sometime after this book is published and in your hands, Chelsea will, in fact, find herself a mother of children...but if not, she is not deprived.\\u2019 I had to read that a couple of times...but I was a little confused, especially after reading the reason for your childlessness--Mayer\\u2013Rokitansky\\u2013K\\xfcster\\u2013Hauser syndrome (MRKH). I even wondered if he referred to your job of helping to make the adoption process easier? \\xa0

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3) I recognized so many parallels between your experience and mine as I read your book. Grief is truly a globally felt and understood, or maybe I should say misunderstood, language; regardless of anything else that may differentiate us. \\xa0I begged and bargained with God. I told my mom she has five children of her own, and that she did not really understand my pain. Grief made me angry. Would you speak to the woman who is currently in the midst of the anger phase of her grief? \\xa0

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4) In the chapter, \\u2018Equipping the church to care for the childless\\u2019, \\xa0Thank you by the way, for highlighting the fact that some women are not only childless, we are husbandless. It\\u2019s what I like to call the double whammy. What do you think it will take to get the church to realize that the congregation is now more than ever, made up of more than mom, dad, and kids, but that there are single never married people, there are widowed people, there are childless people?

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5) \\xa0In chapter two, you talked about redeeming the dead time in the day. It is so important to protect our thought life, isn\\u2019t it?

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6) You mention that it is OK not to be OK. Can you encourage the woman or man out there, that is not feeling OK and wonders how to get through those feelings?

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7) Well, as I mentioned in the beginning, I had so many notes, but as we wrap up, would you leave us with a word of encouragement with something you said in chapter 3: \\u2018your trials have an expiration date?

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8) Chelsea, thank you so much for your time today. You are speaking to women and men who listen all around the world. You have a global audience. Is there anything else you would like to add that we should have covered? \\xa0

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Thank you for your time today Chelsea!

Chelsea\\u2019s contact information:

Website: http://www.chelseapattersonsobolik.com

Book: \\u2018Longing for Motherhood, Holding onto Hope in the Midst of Childlessness\\u2019

Blog posts:

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/today-is-my-birthday-because-my-mom-chose-life/

(January 2017)

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/profile/chelsea-patterson/

\\u201cThe fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman.\\u201d\\u2013 Elisabeth Elliot

Books suggested by Chelsea:

\\u2018The Broken Way\\u2019, by Ann Voskamp

\\u2018Spiritual Depression\\u2019, by D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

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Articles and links of note:

If you have not listened yet, below is a link to my episode \\u2018Adopt for the Right Reasons\\u2019

http://childlessnotbychoice.net/episode-82-adopt-for-the-right-reasons/

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com

Facebook: booksbycivillamorgan

Twitter: @civilla1

Instagram: @joyandrelevance

Pinterest: Civilla M. Morgan, MSM

LinkedIn: Civilla Morgan, MSM

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https://survey.libsyn.com/21stcenturyhannah

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Thank you for listening to this episode of Childless not by Choice.

I appreciate it!

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Until next time! Bye!

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