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b'O zamanlar b\\xfcy\\xfck \\u015fehirlerde \\xfcniversiteye haz\\u0131rl\\u0131k dershaneleri ve az say\\u0131da \\xf6\\u011frenci evi vard\\u0131. Bizimle beraber Hizmet de yava\\u015f yava\\u015f b\\xfcy\\xfcyordu. Bu arada \\xfcniversiteyi bitirmi\\u015ftim. D\\xfcn bize kol kanat gerilmi\\u015f, \\u015fimdi yeni talebelere sahip \\xe7\\u0131kma s\\u0131ras\\u0131 bize gelmi\\u015fti. Bu d\\xf6nemde yolum Orta Asya\\u2019ya d\\xfc\\u015ft\\xfc. O g\\xfcne kadar bir\\xe7ok fedak\\xe2r a\\u011fabey ve abla tan\\u0131m\\u0131\\u015ft\\u0131m, ama ger\\xe7ek Hizmet kahramanlar\\u0131n\\u0131 o co\\u011frafyada tan\\u0131d\\u0131m. Ba\\u015fkas\\u0131n\\u0131n nefsini kendi nefsine tercih eden, hizmette \\xf6nde \\xfccrette geri duran modern \\xe7a\\u011f\\u0131n dervi\\u015fleriydi onlar.

Nefsin mertebelerini \\xf6\\u011frendim onlardan ve nefsini \\xe7ok\\xe7a k\\u0131nayanlar\\u0131 g\\xf6rd\\xfcm. Hani Kur\\u2019\\xe2n-\\u0131 Kerim\\u2019de kendisine yemin edilen\\u2026 Terk-i d\\xfcnya edenlerle kesi\\u015fti yolum. \\xdcstelik bunu mal\\u0131n m\\xfclk\\xfcn i\\xe7erisinde y\\xfczerken yapan, yani d\\xfcnyay\\u0131 kesben de\\u011fil kalben terk edenlerle. Onlar\\u0131n s\\u0131rt\\u0131nda b\\xfcy\\xfcd\\xfc Hizmet. K\\xf6kleri Anadolu\\u2019da, dallar\\u0131 ise b\\xfct\\xfcn d\\xfcnyada olan koca bir \\xe7\\u0131nara d\\xf6n\\xfc\\u015ft\\xfc zamanla. \\xc7ok nezih dostlar\\u0131m, arkada\\u015flar\\u0131m oldu bu camiada, her daim kendileri ile iftihar edece\\u011fim. Sonras\\u0131nda o me\\u015f\\u2019um hadise ve ard\\u0131ndan ya\\u015fananlar. Mal\\u0131m\\u0131zdan m\\xfclk\\xfcm\\xfczden, sevdiklerimizden, mesleklerimizden, vatan\\u0131m\\u0131zdan, hatta can\\u0131m\\u0131zdan bile olduk bu s\\xfcre\\xe7te. Terk-i d\\xfcnya edenleri dervi\\u015f san\\u0131rken, terk-i terk edenleri g\\xf6rd\\xfck, geride b\\u0131rakt\\u0131klar\\u0131n\\u0131 bile unutan.

Pazarda ci\\u011fer satan Aziz Mahmud H\\xfcdayi Hazretlerinin k\\u0131ssas\\u0131n\\u0131 dinlerken d\\xfc\\u015ft\\xfc\\u011f\\xfcm\\xfcz hayrete bedel, yeni bedenlerde hayat bulan binlercesine rast geldik, hem de hi\\xe7 hayret etmeden. Bir gecede Hizmet Hareketinin aln\\u0131na kocaman bir \\u201cter\\xf6r \\xf6rg\\xfct\\xfc\\u201d yaz\\u0131s\\u0131 yaz\\u0131lm\\u0131\\u015f ve bu yaz\\u0131y\\u0131 g\\xf6ren baz\\u0131 kimseler birer iki\\u015fer onu terk etmeye ba\\u015flam\\u0131\\u015ft\\u0131. Otuz y\\u0131l\\u0131 a\\u015fk\\u0131n s\\xfcren hizmet hayat\\u0131m ge\\xe7ti g\\xf6z\\xfcm\\xfcn \\xf6n\\xfcnden. Bir kelime bile yanl\\u0131\\u015f bir \\u015fey duymam\\u0131\\u015ft\\u0131m aziz Hocam\\u0131zdan. Bir kelime bile yanl\\u0131\\u015f bir \\u015fey okumam\\u0131\\u015ft\\u0131m kaynaklar\\u0131m\\u0131zdan. Bir g\\xfcn bile bana yanl\\u0131\\u015f bir \\u015fey \\xf6\\u011fretilmemi\\u015fti. Bir g\\xfcn bile bana yanl\\u0131\\u015f bir \\u015fey yap denilmemi\\u015fti. K\\u0131rk sekiz y\\u0131ll\\u0131k hayat\\u0131mdan Hizmet\\u2019i \\xe7\\u0131karsam geriye b\\xfcy\\xfck bir bo\\u015fluk kal\\u0131rd\\u0131. Vefal\\u0131 olmam gerek diye d\\xfc\\u015f\\xfcn\\xfcrken Hocaefendi\\u2019nin vaazlar\\u0131ndan hat\\u0131rlad\\u0131\\u011f\\u0131m ve hepimizin bildi\\u011fi di\\u011fer bir k\\u0131ssa canland\\u0131 zihnimde: Vaktiyle \\xe7ok say\\u0131da m\\xfcridi olan bir m\\xfcr\\u015fit varm\\u0131\\u015f.

M\\xfcridleri belli bir mertebeye ula\\u015f\\u0131nca \\u015feyhlerinin aln\\u0131ndaki \\u201ccehennemlik\\u201d yaz\\u0131s\\u0131n\\u0131 g\\xf6r\\xfcp b\\xf6yle birine m\\xfcrid olunmaz diyerek onu terk ederlermi\\u015f. Yaln\\u0131z bir talebesi onu terk etmemi\\u015f. M\\xfcr\\u015fid bu talebesine arkada\\u015flar\\u0131n\\u0131n art\\u0131k neden gelmedi\\u011fini sormu\\u015f. Gen\\xe7 m\\xfcrid utana s\\u0131k\\u0131la, \\u201cEfendim, sizin aln\\u0131n\\u0131zdaki cehennemlik yaz\\u0131s\\u0131n\\u0131 g\\xf6rd\\xfckleri i\\xe7in\\u201d demi\\u015f. Bunun \\xfczerine m\\xfcr\\u015fid kendisine, \\u201cSen neden gitmedin?\\u201d diye sormu\\u015f. Talebesi ise, \\u201cBen o yaz\\u0131y\\u0131 g\\xf6rebilece\\u011fim makama sizin ir\\u015fad\\u0131n\\u0131zla geldim. Bu y\\xfczden sizi b\\u0131rakamam\\u201d demi\\u015f. Ya\\u015fl\\u0131 \\u015feyh, \\u201cEvlad\\u0131m, ben o yaz\\u0131y\\u0131 tam k\\u0131rk y\\u0131ld\\u0131r g\\xf6r\\xfcyorum ama gidecek ba\\u015fka kap\\u0131 olmad\\u0131\\u011f\\u0131 i\\xe7in hala buraday\\u0131m\\u201d demi\\u015f ve o esnada aln\\u0131ndaki \\u201c\\u015faki\\u201d yaz\\u0131s\\u0131 silinmi\\u015f ve yerine \\u201csaid\\u201d yaz\\u0131s\\u0131 yaz\\u0131lm\\u0131\\u015f. Bu k\\u0131ssay\\u0131 hat\\u0131rlay\\u0131nca b\\xfcy\\xfck bir utan\\xe7 ve \\xfcz\\xfcnt\\xfc duydum.

Bug\\xfcne kadar bizi bir kez bile mahcup etmemi\\u015f, h\\xe2\\u015f\\xe2, hi\\xe7 bir zaman \\u015fekavet emaresi sergilememi\\u015f Hocam\\u0131za ve Hizmete kar\\u015f\\u0131 ba\\u011fl\\u0131l\\u0131\\u011f\\u0131m daha da artt\\u0131. Hizmet, d\\xfcnyan\\u0131n d\\xf6rt bir yan\\u0131nda y\\u0131llard\\u0131r \\u201csaid\\u201d insanlar, d\\xfcnyay\\u0131 cennete \\xe7evirme azminde muhabbet fedaileri yeti\\u015ftirmi\\u015fti.'