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In this article, we discuss how the addiction rules an addict's life in ways that most non-addicts do not understand, and if innocent family members understood the dynamics of the addiction at work, they would see their burden greatly eased.

We learn that:

1. Non-addicts have a hard time grasping how much power an addiction has over an addict. Most people would be shocked by the way an entire existence can be directed toward getting drunk or high.
2. An untreated addict has no more control of his actions than you might if you were starving. In the grip of an addiction, your loved one's previously held standards and principles no longer apply.
3. Addicts act without thinking of the consequences that their behaviour has on themselves or on others, whether the consequences are immediate or way down the road.
4. All an addict really ever wants is to get and stay drunk and high, preferably both, and also look normal while doing that. The addict knows, however, that he is putting up a front while he feels deep shame inside.
5. Think of the addiction as an entity that has taken your loved one over. And because an addiction's only purpose is to feed itself, it uses a wide array of strategies, hijacking the addict's intelligence, skills, and relationships.
6. It is almost impossible to not take the things that the addict does personally, but when you see them as symptoms of the disease - the addiction -\\xa0 at work, as opposed to actions of evil intent on the part of your loved one, some of the burden is lifted, and you can then go forward with your own healing.