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Whether we like it or not, we are all susceptible to co-dependency - the need to control another person in our life.

In this podcast, we offer the following insights on the various aspects of co-dependency, especially important when addressing what happens in families who are experiencing addiction at home.

The illusion of control

There's something to be said for the idea that we have the ultimate say in the direction and quality of our own lives. Being the "master of our fate" is embedded in our culture as a truth, at least as a worthy aspiration.

Let's bust this myth with the real truth, a truth grounded in the evidence we see all around us. Too often, an unforeseen event will throw even the most self-assured people off their life's track.

Too often, a disease such as an addictive disorder will upend even the most "normal" and happy family. Yet, the family caregiver, typically the mum, will hang on to the illusion that she can affect the trajectory of her loved one's life. Even when her son or daughter is in the grip of a disease over which neither they nor their mother has any control whatsoever.

It is a well-proven truth that is well-expressed in the first step of the 12 steps of AA: "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol..." That applies to the mum as well, as she is just as powerless over their alcoholism or addiction as they are.

It's called a family disease for a reason: because it's true.