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Want to learn how to identify and deal with all types of difficult people?\\xa0 Grab your FREE Toxic People Survival Guide here. https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

Have you ever been told that \\u201cLove conquers all,\\u201d or \\u201cAll you need is love\\u201d?

While these make for great song lyrics, they also make for great gaslighting weapons designed to make you believe that it\\u2019s your responsibility transform a narcissist.\\xa0

These ideas may make you think if you can just love like Jesus, everything will be great. The gaslighting will stop, they\\u2019ll value you as a person, and they\\u2019ll finally realize all the wrong they\\u2019ve done to you.\\xa0

\\xa0This, my friend, is wishful thinking.\\xa0

\\xa0That\\u2019s why I want to talk to you about why your love can\\u2019t change a narcissist, and share something that can.\\xa0

\\xa0I was prompted to think about loving the narcissist after a message came through on one of my videos on YouTube. This viewer wrote (I shortened it for the sake of time):\\xa0

\\xa0\\u201cHave you ever wondered if your videos may cause people to divide, rather than seek to love others? We serve a loving God that desires us to love Him most and love others as ourself (Mark 12:30-31).

\\xa0God knows the full story. He tells us to talk to the other person. He tells us to love, forgive, seek peace, do not lean on YOUR own understanding. How much better place this world would be if we could seek to stop labeling others and looking for fault, and figuring out ways to be on guard against people all the time. How much happier we would be if we did things God's way!\\u201d

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I was going to respond to the message but realized that there\\u2019s so much to unpack here and it\\u2019s likely something that you\\u2019re struggling with too. You\\u2019re either asking similar questions or you\\u2019re struggling with people like who twist God\\u2019s scripture to bring shame to an already painful situation.\\xa0

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There\\u2019s much that I disagree with in this message, but for the sake of time, I want to focus on this idea of \\u2018love\\u2019.\\xa0

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Many people, especially Christians, are under the misconception that it\\u2019s our job to love unconditionally.\\xa0

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But there\\u2019s even much debate among scholars as to whether God\\u2019s love is truly unconditional.

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Some will say that God\\u2019s love IS unconditional, as displayed in John 3:16 \\u201cFor God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.\\u201d

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While His love is unconditional, His acceptance and rewards are not.\\xa0

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Others say God\\u2019s love is conditional because His love cannot contradict his goodness and holiness. But in his love, he provided a solution--the finished work of the cross--and all we need to do is repent to be in right relationship with Him. (Maybe with a few consequences to pay, but in with God nonetheless.)\\xa0

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Regardless of which side of the fence you fall on, what many are interpreting as \\u2018love\\u2019 is actually tolerance and enablement of sin, no repentance required.\\xa0

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So, if your love communicates tolerance to a narcissist, why would they change?\\xa0

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The truth is, the narcissist interprets your love as foolishness. They\\u2019re not thankful for it. They expect it.\\xa0

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Much like a sinner who hears the \\u201cGod loves you so much\\u201d message and thinks, \\u201cOK, cool, I\\u2019m good then,\\u201d so does the narcissist feel in the face of your love.\\xa0

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Perhaps it\\u2019s time to reject the notion that you\\u2019re somehow a bad Christian if you don\\u2019t endure narcissistic abuse, and embrace the wise words of Proverbs 22:3: \\u201cThe prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.\\u201d

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After all,