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As a people pleaser, you\\u2019re likely kind, compassionate, and caring.

\\xa0You like to put people at ease.

\\xa0You often go along to get along

\\xa0You likely avoid conflict at all cost.

\\xa0You assume the best of others, even when they\\u2019ve shown you their worst.

\\xa0And you often say yes, even when you should say no.

\\xa0People pleasers are just overall \\u2018nice\\u2019 people. And 'nice' certainly sounds like a 'nice' way to be. But \\u2018nice\\u2019 means that you\\u2019re pleasant and agreeable, even the expense of your own values and identity.

\\xa0Still sound \\u2018nice?\\u2019\\xa0

\\xa0If you see yourself as a people pleaser, I want to share with you 9 people-pleasing traits that are not as nice as you think and the 5 steps to stop people-pleasing and start God-pleasing.

\\xa0I want you to imagine for a moment that you are a Jenga game. The goal of the Jenga game is to build a tower by removing pieces from the bottom and adding them to the top without the entire tower falling down.

\\xa0Every time you put the needs of others above your own, you remove a piece of the tower.

\\xa0Every time you:

\\xb7\\xa0 \\xa0 \\xa0 change yourself to keep others happy

\\xb7\\xa0 \\xa0 \\xa0 betray your values to fit in

\\xb7\\xa0 \\xa0 \\xa0 allow someone to trample your boundaries in order to be liked by them

\\xb7\\xa0 \\xa0 \\xa0 agree even when you disagree

\\xb7\\xa0 \\xa0 \\xa0 apologize for something you didn\\u2019t do wrong

\\xb7\\xa0 \\xa0 \\xa0 take the blame when it\\u2019s not yours

\\xb7\\xa0 \\xa0 \\xa0 or enable bad behavior in order to keep the peace,\\xa0

\\xa0it\\u2019s a bit like removing a small piece of yourself. You compromise the foundation of who you are.

\\xa0Each individual compromise feels like no big deal. After all, it\\u2019s keeping the peace, right?

\\xa0But here\\u2019s the problem: little by little you chip away at yourself and give little pieces of yourself away to someone else until there are so many gaps that you don\\u2019t even recognize who you are. Or worse, it all comes crumbling down.\\xa0

\\xa0So when it\\u2019s important that you show up in life as you, you don\\u2019t know how, because you don't know who you are anymore. You\\u2019re not sure who you are outside of the approval and validation of others. You\\u2019re not even sure what matters most to you because you\\u2019ve spent so much of your life putting others first, seeking their validation and ignoring your own needs.

\\xa0That\\u2019s why you\\u2019re struggling to live a life of purpose\\u2014because you\\u2019ve put your purpose in other people\\u2019s hands.\\xa0

\\xa0And these people that you\\u2019re trying to please so much, don\\u2019t even find this quality attractive. All they see is a broken, fragile person they can likely take advantage of. \\xa0

\\xa0So, my question for you is this: Is this the dependent place you want to live from?

\\xa0Before things come tumbling down completely, there is a way forward.

If you are willing to follow the 5 steps I\\u2019ve outlined below, God will begin to rebuild these fragmented pieces of your personality, one by one, until you are healed and whole.

\\xa0Step 1: Recognize

Recognize people pleasing for what it truly is\\u2014a self-serving, idolatrous, even manipulative way of life. I realize this is painful to hear, but pretending that you\\u2019re doing this for others simply isn\\u2019t being honest. People pleasers strive to please others because they are trying to please themselves. You must acknowledge that underlying \\u2018give to get\\u2019 motive.\\xa0

\\xa0Step 2: Repent\\xa0

It\\u2019s hard to imagine having to repent of being 'nice.' But remember that 'niceness' is driven by an internal motivation for approval and validation, OUTSIDE of God. Every time you say yes to others and no to God, you confirm your allegiance to meeting your need, and not leaving it to God.

Step 3: Resolve
Now is the time to decide whom you'll s