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FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

If you\\u2019re like many well-meaning Christians who choose to stay with a narcissist, you can\\u2019t quiet that nagging question\\u2014how do I love this person without letting their toxic behavior get to me?

Another common thought is, I\\u2019m barely done forgiving them for their last offense and here come three more.

The underlying question is, How do I love them without losing myself?!

To love a toxic person without losing yourself, there are three traps that you\\u2019ll need to avoid.

Trap #1: Empathy. In general, empathy is a wonderful, Christ-like quality. But when you have empathy for a narcissist, the receiver only hears another opportunity to take advantage of you. (Even if they don\\u2019t say that out loud.)

The real trap of having empathy for a narcissist is the false belief that you can heal them.

Trap #2: Codependency. Codependency is an unhealthy--almost addictive--attachment to another person. It is the devil\\u2019s counterfeit for interdependency. When codependency is thriving, you can\\u2019t be ok unless the other person is OK with you.

The underlying trap of codependency is a quiet belief that you can change them.

Trap #3: Hope. All things are possible with God. But the problem doesn\\u2019t lie with God, it lies with the narcissist\\u2019s choices. And until they stop choosing demonic behavior and repent, there isn\\u2019t much hope.

Proverbs 13:12 reminds us, \\u201cHope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.\\u201d

So, if you\\u2019re hoping that today will be a good day but then getting rocked when it\\u2019s not, it\\u2019s likely that your hope doesn\\u2019t have substance.

The trap of hope is the belief that it will be worth the wait.

Now that you know where the landmines are and how to avoid them, let\\u2019s apply the three key principles to loving a narcissist without losing yourself:

1. Accept who they are, and how they are.

I can almost here you now, \\u201cKris, how can you tell me to accept such terrible behavior? That\\u2019s like saying, \\u2018That\\u2019s ok, just walk all over me!\\u2019\\u201d

That\\u2019s not what I\\u2019m saying. Acceptance doesn\\u2019t mean agreement. It doesn\\u2019t even mean tolerance. It simply means that you recognize who they are and how they are and give up the responsibility, or the hope, of trying to change them.

Maya Angelou once said, \\u201cWhen someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.\\u201d It\\u2019s time to hang up the hope that today will be a \\u2018good day\\u201d and then getting bent out of shape when their lies, manipulation, self pity, anger, condescension, and blaming behavior ruins the day.

In other words, stop being shocked when their behavior is narcissistic.

Simply determine what your boundaries will be and stand firm to protect yourself. For example, if you usually drive to parties together but you\\u2019re constantly getting into arguments over his road rage, drive yourself, grab an Uber, or don\\u2019t go at all.

If you want to learn how to set healthy boundaries you can be proud of\\u2026.check out this episode here (link)

2. Practice emotional guarding.

Proverbs 4:23 says, \\u201cAbove all else guard your heart for out of it flows the wellsprings of life.\\u201d

Unless you enjoy intense emotional rollercoasters that leave you exhilarated one minute and vomiting the next, you will have to emotionally\\u2014and maybe physically\\u2014detach from this person.

This means that you no longer own their behaviors and emotions.

I realize that this may feel cold but that\\u2019s where avoiding the trap of codependency comes in.

You\\u2019ve likely been trained to take on more than you should in a relationship, all in the name of love.

This isn\\u2019t biblical. Jesus didn\\u2019t do it, and neither should we. In fact, if you want to see a comical parody on what it would look like IF Jesus were codependent, check out this episode here