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\\xa0Are you ready to set boundaries like a boss? Check out my online course\\u2026.Boundaries with Toxic family. https://krisreece.com/biblical-boundaries-with-toxic-family/

\\xa0Maybe you\\u2019ve just discovered that your manipulative friend isn\\u2019t as sweet as she pretends to be. Or the guilt your mother has been laying on you isn\\u2019t your biblical burden to bear. \\xa0

\\xa0You\\u2019re probably here because you realize that \\u2018no\\u2019 needs to become a more regular part of your vocabulary. \\xa0

After all, every relationship\\u2014whether with a parent, pastor, partner, coworker, or friend\\u2014needs boundaries. They are what makes relationships healthy.

\\xa0Boundaries are limits we set with others to protect our relationships and ourselves. They\\u2019re guidelines that we communicate to others regarding how we want to be treated. \\xa0

\\xa0 Maybe you\\u2019ve just realized that you need to say no to certain people, or perhaps you\\u2019ve been avoiding setting limits for a while and it\\u2019s finally catching up with you.

\\xa0 What do you say we make today the day you learn to speak your NO in love?

\\xa0In today\\u2019s episode we\\u2019re going to talk about 3 key principles and the 2 boundary barriers you\\u2019ll need to avoid if you want to set guiltless boundaries.

\\xa0Let\\u2019s dive in.

\\xa0Principle #1: Know thyself

Have you ever been given the advice to just be yourself?

\\xa0Great advice, but what do you do if you don\\u2019t know who you are?

\\xa0If you don\\u2019t know who you are and what you want, someone else will gladly define that for you. \\xa0

\\xa0To set rock-solid boundaries, you need a rock-solid identity. This may be the hardest step of all because many of us have formed our identities based upon the needs and expectations of others.\\xa0

But you, my friend are a unique creation. You were fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator of the Universe (Psalm 139:14).

\\xa0So how do you get to know you? There are 3 key areas I want you to identify.

1. What\\u2019s your temperament? Your temperament is your God given nature. We all have one, and we either operate in its strengths or weaknesses. My hope is that you will freely flow in all that God created you to be when you understand how God wired you. If you need help, grab my FREE What\\u2019s My Temperament Guide to get you started. (link)
2. What are your preferences? This includes your likes, dislikes, passions, annoyances, dreams and values. These are what make you different. (Yes, it\\u2019s OK to differ from others.)\\xa0
3. What are your needs? You can\\u2019t expect others to meet your needs until you know your needs, as mind reading is not a spiritual gift.

Establishing boundaries and getting to know yourself can feel selfish first. But you won\\u2019t be able to set healthy boundaries until you discover where the other person ends and you begin.\\xa0

\\xa0Principle #2: Own your stuff

Most rookies to boundaries usually arrive at the desire to declare their \\u2018no\\u2019 after a long time of abuse. While I have no doubt that people have taken advantage of you, putting yourself in the role of victim can feel like it absolves you of responsibility when the truth is, you had a part to play.

\\xa0Now would be the time to examine what part you played in the toxic tango. \\xa0

\\xa0Ask yourself, \\u2018Was there something I was getting from the relationship that I was unwilling to give up if needed? Did I believe that my behavior could change theirs? Why did I surrender my values for their approval?\\u2019

\\xa0Next you\\u2019ll want to own your feelings. Examining what\\u2019s in your heart is going to be crucial if you truly want to speak the truth in love.

\\xa0Luke 6:43-44 reminds us that out of the mouth the heart speaks. If you\\u2019re harboring resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness, victim mentality, or anything of the kind,&