BROADCASTS.com

b'Tuni Deignan spent most of her life using a whole host of coping mechanisms to avoid facing the trauma of her childhood: a sexually abusive father and a mother who seemed helpless to stop him. But when a bike accident rendered her immobile and independent on narcotics at age of fifty-five, she finally sat down to unwind and understand the circus of her life; a journey that led her to a place of understanding, peace, and even joy. Underwater Daughter follows how Tuni grappled with her relationship with her parents, the aftermath of her rape, an eating disorder, drug and alcohol excesses, and shame as she came of age and began to build a life. In order to not lose her inner innocence, in order to protect herself, in order to believe in love, she began early on to create imaginary worlds into which she could escape\\u2014to use dreams to transport her away from her fears. By early adulthood, she was well practiced at slapping lipstick (pink, frosty, kiss-me, gloss-over, perfect lipstick) over whatever darkness might be bubbling beneath. Hired by a dance company right out of high school, she found success as a dancer in Chicago and New York, but in her personal and emotional life, she continued to struggle. Ultimately, it took her decades of dancing, hiding, faking, having sex, costuming, implanting, dissociating, marrying, divorcing, and purging\\u2014all while staying silent about her past trauma\\u2014before a bike accident at age fifty-five forced her to stop and truly take stock of her life. As she did, she came to a resting place, finally, in regard to her father; and developed the loving relationship she\\u2019d always wanted with her mother; finally understanding that, in the end, love is all anyone wants\\u2014or needs.'