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Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. Your arrows have pierced me, and your hand has come down on me. \u2026 All my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes. My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors stay far away. \u2026 Lord, I wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God. \u2026 Lord, do not forsake me; do not be far from me, my God. Come quickly to help me, my Lord and my Savior. (Psalm 38:1-2, 9-11, 15, 22)

In the aftermath of a traumatic experience, a swirl of emotions, thoughts, and questions gush through us. \xa0Psalm 38 strikes me as kind of like that.

One thread seems to ask: is this my fault? \xa0Did I sin or do something wrong? \xa0Did I fail to do something that I should have? \xa0Am I being punished?

Another thread sees an enemy at work. \xa0The enemy is scheming, lying, seeking to do harm. \xa0

Yet another thread simply laments: my strength fails, the light is gone from my eyes. \xa0Even my friends and neighbours avoid me. \xa0The loneliness and emptiness we can feel in times of grief.

But it seems like the place that the psalm finally ends\u2014which is also the place it begins\u2014is with God. \xa0The psalmist recognizes that no matter what our circumstances, no matter what our sins are or aren\u2019t, no matter our need: it all ultimately has to do with God. \xa0The buck stops at his door.

Our confession comes to God. \xa0Our provision, healing, and help come from God. \xa0Our salvation from trouble, enemies, sin, and evil come from God. \xa0Our very life is a gift of God. \xa0But perhaps the hard times we face are also in some way allowed by God too: because if he really is the King and ruler of this world\u2014then the buck stops at his door.

And so the psalmist\u2014faced with the pain, the evil, and the traumatic griefs of this world\u2014turns to God as the one with whom we all have ultimately to do. \xa0\u201cLord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. \xa0Your arrows have pierced me, and your hand has come down on me.\u201d \xa0And you know this Lord, you see it. \xa0\u201cAll my longings lie open before you\u2026 my sighing is not hidden from you.\u201d \xa0

Slowly, as the psalmist\u2019s words pour out before God, the confused threads weave together into a prayer of submission and trust that cries out for salvation. \xa0\u201cLord, I wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God. \u2026 do not forsake me\u2026 come quickly to help me, my Lord and my Savior.\u201d

Most of the awful or traumatic moments of our lives have to be wrestled out prayerfully with God in just this sort of Psalm 38 way. \xa0Not just once, but over and over again as the confused threads of our hearts and questions flow all over one another. \xa0But slowly, in bringing it out of our hearts and minds and offering it up before God, our unknowing is every so slowly transformed into a trustful waiting in God. \xa0

As you journey on, go with the blessing of God: \xa0 \xa0

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you : wherever he may send you.
May he guide you through the wilderness : protect you through the storm.
May he bring you home rejoicing : at the wonders he has shown you.\xa0
May he bring you home rejoicing : once again into our doors.