BROADCASTS.com

Part I.Recognizing the GiftsTZARA\u2019AS IS A GIFT?!\u05db\u05b4\u05bc\u05d9 \u05ea\u05b8\u05d1\u05b9\u05d0\u05d5\u05bc \u05d0\u05b6\u05dc \u05d0\u05b6\u05e8\u05b6\u05e5 \u05db\u05b0\u05bc\u05e0\u05b7\u05e2\u05b7\u05df \u05d0\u05b2\u05e9\u05b6\u05c1\u05e8 \u05d0\u05b2\u05e0\u05b4\u05d9 \u05e0\u05b9\u05ea\u05b5\u05df \u05dc\u05b8\u05db\u05b6\u05dd \u05dc\u05b7\u05d0\u05b2\u05d7\u05bb\u05d6\u05b8\u05bc\u05d4 \u201cWhen you shall come to the land which I give you as a possession, \u05d5\u05b0\u05e0\u05b8\u05ea\u05b7\u05ea\u05b4\u05bc\u05d9 \u05e0\u05b6\u05d2\u05b7\u05e2 \u05e6\u05b8\u05e8\u05b7\u05e2\u05b7\u05ea \u05d1\u05b0\u05bc\u05d1\u05b5\u05d9\u05ea \u05d0\u05b6\u05e8\u05b6\u05e5 \u05d0\u05b2\u05d7\u05bb\u05d6\u05b7\u05bc\u05ea\u05b0\u05db\u05b6\u05dd and I shall give a plague of leprosy upon a house of the land of your possession\u201d (Metzora 14:34). In studying thispossukthechachomimtook note of the wordnosati, \u201cI shall give to you.\u201d \u201cI will give\u201d a plague instead of the more common, \u05d5\u05b0\u05e9\u05b7\u05c2\u05de\u05b0\u05ea\u05b4\u05bc\u05d9 \u201cI will place\u201d implies a gift of sorts,and remarkably, that\u2019s howchazalunderstood these words. \u201cThese are good tidings to them that plagues would come upon them\u201d, thechachomimsay.Now, what good tidings could there be in a home that is contaminated withtzara\u2019as, a home that has to be knocked down? Sochazaltell us that upon hearing that the Am Yisroel was advancing towards them, theCanaanimhad concealed their wealth; all of their gold and silver, in the walls of their houses (Vayikra Rabbah 17:6). And when the loyal Jew obeyed the law ofnig\u2019ei battim, and eventually he knocked down the walls as commanded in this week\u2019sparsha, he discovered the wealth that had been hidden there all along.And so, it was thetzara\u2019asthat Hashem had \u201cgiven\u201d to the owner of this house that became the bearer of good tidings. Because this family had possessed a great store of wealth in the walls of their home, only that they weren\u2019t aware of what they possessed. And it was only when thetzara\u2019ascame that they realized what a treasure they had in the home all along. The family might have lost a wall, and sometimes even the house in its entirety had to be demolished, but what they found in the process was a treasure that more than made up for the loss.THE CASE OF THE MISSING GOLDBut you have to know that gold and silver were not always found. Not everyCanaanitehad treasures \u2013 there were middle classCanaanitestoo \u2013 and even the wealthyCanaanite, maybe his wife was a spendthrift, a high roller who squandered her husband\u2019s money and didn\u2019t leave anything to hide away. And even the ones who had extra gold and silver, not every one of them hid his treasure between the stones of his wall \u2013 some found better hiding places than that.Now that\u2019s a question, because Hashem saysnosati, \u201cI am giving you a treasure when I sendtzara\u2019ason your home.\u201d And for many people, there were no treasures of gold and silver hiding in their walls. So what was the treasure for the family standing outside in the cold and rain, watching the walls of their house being demolished?And so we\u2019ll say as follows: Even when no gold was found, the family gained an even greater wealth, becausethey discovered the treasure of the home itself.When a person discovers that there were opportunities available to him, that\u2019s when he has found the greatest treasure; the opportunities for greatness that he will now make use of for the rest of his life. And that\u2019s why Rabbi Yehuda, when explaining what gift was meant bynosati,\u201cI will give you \u201ca present\u201d oftzara\u2019as,\u201d didn\u2019t mention anything about a hidden treasure;he merely said: \u201cThese are good tidings that plagues will come upon them\u201d (Sifra ibid). He didn\u2019t consider it necessary to add that they might discover hidden gold and silver because the treasure they discovered was even more important than that.WHERE ARE WE SLEEPING TONIGHT?The first and most obvious treasure that this family discovered was thathaving a house is fun. Did you ever think about that? Forced to stand outside of their home as thekohenwent inside to inspect the walls, the father and mother huddled together with their children, and they looked back to consider that maybe they had not been grateful enough to Hashem for the blessings of a home, blessings that were now slipping out of their hands. And it was cold outside; it would rain too. \u201cIt was so much fun to have walls; why didn\u2019t we appreciate it when we had it?! Where are we going to sleep tonight?\u201d And so the forlorn family standing there were now discovering the treasure that they had always had hidden \u201cin their walls\u201d; the treasure ofhaving walls! Of having a roof over their heads \u2013the treasure of having a home.And this lesson alone, to unearth that treasure of appreciating the walls of your home, that\u2019s already enough of a reason fortzara\u2019asto come onto a person\u2019s walls. And that\u2019s the lesson that we\u2019re all expected to learn as we read theparsha\u2013 that we have to get busy appreciating the four walls of our homes and not wait for the lesson to be taught to us in the way it was taught to this family.REMAINING A CHILD FOREVERYou know that a little child doesn\u2019t appreciate a home.He thinks of the street as wonderful, the sidewalk is wonderful \u2013 outside, that\u2019s where the fun is. Try to bring a little boy back from the sidewalk into the house; you have to pull him with horses into the house. And most people never grow out of those childish ideas; they remain children all their lives unless they begin the work of thinking, of dilating on each benefit, and discovering the great treasure that the home is.Walls are really fun! What would life be without walls?! You know that if not for the walls, the winds would be blowing all the time, and the rains would come pouring in as well! It would be very cold in the winter if all you had was a roof! You know that in this place we like the rain and the winds; we appreciate them to no end. But we appreciate them most happily from the window, standing on this side of the wall and looking out.I was walking this week with a friend of mine and the snow was coming down. I was carrying an umbrella but he wasn\u2019t prepared, he didn\u2019t have an umbrella. So he said to me; he\u2019s one of my people, so he said, \u201cSnow is like ice cream.\u201dI said, \u201cYou are correct, that\u2019s a wonderful idea but ice cream in your ears is not comfortable.\u201d We appreciate the snow, but we appreciate umbrellas too! So we\u2019ll stand on this side of the wall and we\u2019ll enjoy the rain and snow and cold.Of course, we enjoy it; but we don\u2019t have to dive into it.SLEEPING ON OCEAN PARKWAYAnd so you have to learn how to be happy that you have a roof over your head.Here\u2019s a poor woman, a homeless lady, a little bit demented; I see her pushing a shopping wagon on Ocean Parkway. All her possessions are in that shopping wagon; she has nothing. She doesn\u2019t have a bathroom, she doesn\u2019t have a kitchen, she doesn\u2019t have a bed to sleep in. Where does she go when it\u2019s raining? A pity on her. You see, she\u2019s bedraggled, it\u2019smamisha heartbreak to look at her.If she could only have a place to sleep. But she sits down on a bench, it\u2019s freezing weather, she\u2019s trying to get a nap on a bench; on a park bench she\u2019s trying to fall asleep. It\u2019s freezing and she can\u2019t warm up. And you, you have a house with a roof over your head! How lucky she would be if she could have a little place, a shack with a roof over her head; she\u2019d be the happiest person right now. Even without any heat, she could lie down on the floor, at least, and sleep. She doesn\u2019t have even that. So first learn to enjoy a roof over your head. It takes a long time. A roof over your head, what a happiness that is!FALLING OUT OF MY HOUSEAnd privacy! Ah, the pleasure of privacy that walls afford us! Life would be no fun at all if your neighbor would always be peeking over from his dining room into yours; it would be a miserable home. And I\u2019ll tell you something else, and don\u2019t laugh: Without walls it would be so easy to fall out from the house into the street. Life in the home would always be full of danger; you\u2019d be living precariously all the time. I think about that all the time when I see the walls in my house. And I don\u2019t live on the first floor; I live high up, so I enjoy my walls to no end.Now when you begin to think like that, so you realize that walls are not just walls. There\u2019s a lot going on behind those walls. Plumbing pipes! Ah, asimcha! You have to tell your children the benefits of having running water in the house. When I went to Europe to learn in the yeshiva, the first thing that I noticed was that there was no running water in the house. You went out into the backyard, or a block away, where there was a well and you had to carry back a bucket of water with a yoke. It sat across my shoulders, one bucket hanging here and one bucket hanging there.It was a hard job to bring water to the house. And then you poured it into some kind of contraption that was nailed to a wall; and when you wanted to wash your hands you had to bang underneath on the nail, a big nail, and if banged hard enough some water dripped down along the nail. And you had to keep on banging to get your hands wet. You banged and banged as you washed your hands, so little by little the water came out. Each time the nail went up, a little water came out.TEA KETTLES AND BOOTS FOR THE BATHROOMAnd hot water in the home?! Hot water too?! Who could have imagined such a luxury?! In Europe when you wanted to take a bath, there was no bath in the house. So either you went to theschvitz baad, the public bathhouse, or they brought in a tin tub. Somebalabatimhad a big tin tub, and they boiled up water in a tea kettle; one after the other they poured it in, until the tub was half full. Then you bathed in that water, in a room someplace, in a bedroom. So you bathed in a tin tub in water which was boiled in tea kettles. When you got through with it, if you had a little brother, he bathed after you in the same water because they couldn\u2019t afford to fill it up twice. I saw it happen that way.Nobody had a bathroom in the house! In the dead of winter, if you were unfortunate enough to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, so you had to put on your boots. We had to put on our woolen boots and stomp through the deep snow to go to the so called bathroom, there was no fancy toilet seat. And whatever was there remained there, until finally in the summertime when it already had a big aroma. That\u2019s when a man with a horse and wagon came with a long wooden spade and he took it all out. And for miles around everybody knew what was going on that day, because of the fragrance that was wafted on the summer breeze.THOMAS EDISON AT HAVDALAHAnd you have lights in your home too, don\u2019t you? I remember when there were no electric lights; we had gas lights. And fires used to take place because of them. I once was in a house and there was a fire; the ceiling caught fire from the gas flame. I was watching the firemen trying to put out the fire. And in the streets I remember the lamp lighters used to go around with ladders and light the gas lamps in the street. Of course, today if you speak about electric lights to most Jewish children they\u2019ll laugh at you for appreciating such a thing; but that\u2019s because they\u2019re not being brought up as authentic Jews. An authentic Jew thanks Hashem for artificial light.Actually we do it every week; people don\u2019t know that every week we thank Hashem for artificial light. Every day we thank Hashem for the natural light of the sun,Yotzer Ha\u2019meoros, but for artificial light we thank once a week, on motzei Shabbos.Borei me\u2019orei ha\u2019aish. What\u2019s that? Did you ever think about that? We\u2019re thanking Hashem for artificial lights. Every week. Some people think it\u2019s just a ceremony, afrumkeit. No! We\u2019remakir tovfor fire, electric lights, and all other forms of artificial illumination. After all, in the olden days when it was night time, what could you do? You could sit down and learnba\u2019al pehif you remembered. But if you didn\u2019t remember you couldn\u2019t learn. And now,boruch Hashem, Hakodosh Boruch Hu gave us lights.In 1879 Edison called together a company of scientists and he promised to show them a remarkable thing; for the first time in history an electric bulb was turned on, and they were amazed! They described it as if sunlight filled the room. There never had been such a light before! It\u2019s important to explain that to children; It\u2019s important to explain it to ourselves! To enjoy the light.And therefore you should constantly be telling your children, \u201cLook how lucky we are to have a nice home to live in! It\u2019s so much fun to have walls that keep us warm and dry and safe. Now the child might say, \u201cWhat do you mean \u2018a nice home\u2019? This place is tiny! My friend Sarah down the street has a better house than we do. They have such a big kitchen and a better this and better that.\u201d But you have to drown that out by constantly reiterating to your family all the benefits they are enjoying. They\u2019ll keep complaining and you keep talking about thechasdei Hashem. And it sinks in; trust me it goes into their heads. And that\u2019s the biggesthatzalahfor the family, because it\u2019s the family that doesn\u2019t appreciate thechesedof a home, that\u2019s the home that thenega tzara\u2019asis bound to come upon, in order to teach them about the great treasure that a house is.Part II.The True TreasureAN OPPORTUNITY FOR REPENTANCEHowever, everything we\u2019ve been speaking about is only scratching the surface of what the happiness of a home truly is; and it\u2019s only the first lesson that Hashem intended by the gift oftzara\u2019asthat a family finds on the walls of its home. Because when a family found themselves homeless, they were expected to understand that it was an opportunity for repentance. They were expected to understand that the tribulation of losing their home was intended as a punishment for not using their home properly.Actually, a Jewish home is much more than the physical benefits of walls and a roof, much more than the blessings of privacy, shelter, plumbing, electricity and being protected from falling into the street. All of that is important, and it was the first and most obvious lesson that they learned. But it\u2019s still only part of the treasure that a home is. The aristocratic home of theAmHashemis something much greater than four physical walls. And now when these walls are broken down, after such a drastic warning, this family was expected to exert themselves to begin to utilize the house as a place foravodas Hashem. What makes the Jewish home a true treasure is that it is the place where theAmYisroelis built.BUILDING THE BEIS YISROEL IN FLATBUSHThat\u2019s what ourAvosandImahosdid \u2013 their career took place primarily in their tents. The Rambam says that: He writes that the sole intention of our Avos in everything that they did was \u05dc\u05b0\u05d4\u05b7\u05e2\u05b2\u05de\u05b4\u05d9\u05d3 \u05d0\u05bb\u05de\u05b8\u05bc\u05d4 \u05d4\u05b8\u05e2\u05d5\u05b9\u05d1\u05b6\u05d3\u05b6\u05ea \u05d0\u05b6\u05ea \u05d4\u05b7\u05e9\u05b5\u05bc\u05c1\u05dd \u2013 in order to establish a nation that would be servants of Hashem (Moreh Nevuchim 3:51). And therefore that\u2019s the job of theAvosandImahostoday as well; we walk in the footsteps of our forefathers and we continue to build theAm Yisroelin our homes.And that is the greatest treasure, the greatest privilege, that could be afforded to anyone \u2013 the privilege of using the home foravodas Hashem.And it is that opportunity that was the great treasure that the family discovered when they were forced to leave their home. They were learning now that they had treated their home as just a place to live instead of a place of aristocracy, the palace that it really was meant to be. And that was the real treasure that they discovered by means of thetzara\u2019as; and so when the family returned to their home again, theylived there with the knowledge of that treasure they had unearthed, and they were now ready to make use of it as intended by Hashem.DON\u2019T KICK OFF YOUR SHOES JUST YETYou know, when we think of a home so we might consider it possibly as a place of relaxation; the place you come back to after a day of toil in the workplace, where you had to act towards people in an unnatural and artificial manner. And now you can come home and you can kick off your shoes, relax and behave naturally. Because your true career is in the home; it\u2019s in the home that you should be acting your best.They tell about the old Telzer Rav, Rav Yosef Leib, that even in the hottest days of July and August \u2013 in those days they didn\u2019t have air conditioners and not even electric fans \u2013 and yet he never took off hiskapotehin his house. All summer he wore his long coat, because in his house, he behaved like a prince in a palace. Now, everybody knew that in the house that Telzer Rav sometimes had to take off his coat. He wasn\u2019t amalach;they knew he was a human being who couldn\u2019t be a Rav in his long coat twenty four hours a day. But no matter; he didn\u2019t want them to see him like that. Even for his wife and children he was always the Telzer Rav. He behaved like a prince in the home because he understood, and he wanted his family to understand, that the home is a palace, the place where the most important part of history was taking place \u2013 the building of theumah ovedes es Hashem.Yisroelis a name that puts the Jew far above all of mankind; and that means that the home where theBeis Yisroelis being built is a place where there should always be an aura of aristocracy, a feeling that this home is a place of nobility, a place set aside for accomplishing the most important of all endeavors. And when aYisroeltries to live up to this ideal of nobility so his behavior in the home is transformed. You know, it makes a big difference whether a man is a nobleman in his own esteem or whether he considers himself a commoner, a nothing. The things that a commoner will do, a noble man will not even consider. He can\u2019t be be busy with novels and magazines \u2013 even Jewish magazines \u2013 that are filled with emptiness. He has more important things than that to accomplish, and so his mannerisms, his attitudes, and his aspirations are entirely different than the non aristocrat. The entire personality of a person is transformed when he realizes that he is a prince.EMULATING THE ROYAL FAMILYAnd when we live in a house where only princes live, so that house becomes something remarkable. Imagine there were princes who lived in a palace but because of some adversity they had to leave the palace. And now the princes, the royals, are living in a hut. But it\u2019s not an ordinary farmer\u2019s hut, it\u2019s not a shepherd\u2019s hut. It\u2019s a hut of princes now. Their manners are of princes, they spend their time in the way of princes. Even their speech is that of princes.And therefore in a Jewish home it is of utmost importance to live up to the idea that we arebnei melachim.Before every move made in the home, they consult in their minds the model supplied by the awareness of their royalty; what they think royalty would do in such a case. A man and woman in the home should always be thinking: \u201cWhat are the royal manners and the aristocratic ideals that should reign in the Jewish home?\u201d Of course, we are all human beings and we can\u2019t imagine that we will succeed in one fell swoop, but we have to always be aware of the perfection we are striving for. And it is those homes where this is kept in mind always that will never have to be plagued by the warning and lessons oftzara\u2019as.THE JEWISH POLITICIANNow, in order to create an atmosphere of an aristocrat home, an institution where theAm Yisroelis being created, so a father and mother must appear before their children like actors on the stage. You can never be natural; no matter how you feel you must be to your children a hero. A politician,l\u2019havdil, never appears in public acting like he really feels. He\u2019s knocked out; he\u2019s been traveling all night to get here after speaking someplace else. Now he\u2019s over here and he has to get up on the stage; sometimes he even has to speak at the train station as soon as he gets off the train. You can be sure that he\u2019s feeling grouchy and tired; all he wants to do is crawl into bed. Could be he\u2019s just been told by his campaign manager that he\u2019s trailing badly in the polls and that he\u2019s headed for defeat. No matter, he\u2019s waving and he\u2019s wreathed in smiles as if all is wonderful. He displays cheer and confidence; he needs votes, what could he do?Now, a parent needs the votes of his children; he needs their votes to build the happy and successful home together and therefore he should always appear to them as confident; he always knows what to do. He\u2019s never desperate or worried. \u201cNever mind,\u201d he tells his children with a smile, \u201cEverything is under control; it\u2019s going to be just fine.\u201d He\u2019s always happy. What he\u2019s thinking inside, that\u2019s not their business.You know thegemarasays that a person should betocho k\u2019baro,his inside should be like his outside. Why doesn\u2019t the gemara say that his outside should be like his inside?Chas v\u2019shalom, that his outside should be like his inside! \u201cBe genuine,\u201d people say. No, if his outside would be like his inside, the home might become an Italian home, an Irish home. The ideal is that it should betochok\u2019baro, his inside should be like his outside. The outside must always be good, only that the inside should attempt to follow the outside. But the outside always must be good!MUSSAR FROM PRESIDENT REAGANYou are the leader and leaders cannot be sad. A leader who shows sadness, who shows lack of confidence, is a failure. Evenl\u2019havdilPresident Reagan, no matter how much he was insulted, he kept his bearings. Even when he was shot in the assassination attempt, as they were taking him to the hospital, he made a wisecrack to show he was cheerful. That\u2019s because he knew how to act; President Reagan was a good president because he was a good actor. He didn\u2019t concede, he wouldn\u2019t admit that he had a setback.A good leader, a good mother and father, won\u2019t show discouragement \u2013 they always maintain a good cheer. I\u2019m not saying that you have to walk around with a big grin on your face, that\u2019s nothing; but an underlying appearance, a facade of confidence and cheer, are essential in the home of aristocracy. It doesn\u2019t pay for a leader to show discouragement; people don\u2019t want discouraged leaders. A prince is a man of confidence. And even when he doesn\u2019t have the confidence, he displays it in his demeanor and his countenance and in the way he talks, because the palace is too important for failure.ON STAGE: QUEEN MOMMYA mother should always appear like a queen before the children. Now, that\u2019s not easy, particularly when the children are in the house all day long. But it\u2019s not easy to be an actor; you have to go to one performance and then to another and then another. An actor would like to go home and kick off her shoes; to relax and lie down on the couch. But for glory you do it; or for money. So she appears on the stage each time like a shining queen. And that\u2019s how a mother should view herself in the home, like an actor on the great stage, putting on the most important performance of her life.And therefore the ideal of aristocracy should be paramount when a couple builds a Jewish home. Not only should he consider his wife a queen and she should consider him a king, But they should considerthemselvesas kings and queens. And the children are princes and princesses. Always cheerful and confident and aware of their importance in building the Am Yisroel.THE FIVE MINUTEMESIBAHAnd it is that atmosphere that becomes the foundation for all the accomplishments ofavodas Hashemin the Jewish home \u2013 the home becomes the place, not only of happiness, but of accomplishment. The \u201cmundane\u201d days of the week become days of accomplishing; Shabbos becomes a day of achieving greatness;Yomtivis transformed intoavodas Hashem. How important it is for parents to train their children insimchas yomtiv!Now some parents think thatsimchas yomtivmeans taking out the children oncholhamo\u2019edfor a ride to go to the park or the zoo. Nothing wrong, but that\u2019ssimcha, notsimchas yomtiv.To train children, even little children, that today isyomtiv, today ischol hamo\u2019ed, is so important for building the home. Sit down and make a littlemesibah, even a five minutemesibahl\u2019kavod yomtiv; a little gathering. Wednesday afternoon, Thursday, Friday afternoon. A littlemesibahis more important than two hours in the Bronx Zoo or who knows where. Agoyalso has the Bronx Zoo, but we want to have an aristocratic home of princes and princesses. Sit down and talk for a couple of minutes aboutyomtiv; tell the children, \u201cLet\u2019s sing the songAtah Bichartanu,or a different niggun.\u201d And then say, suggest to them, \u201cKids, aren\u2019t we having a good time,kinderlach?\u201d And they all chime in, \u201cYes. Now let\u2019s go to the zoo!\u201d But that\u2019s excellent \u2013 you accomplished your mission! Because those few minutes have laid a foundation.He made a special effort to create excitement for Shabbos and yamim tovim. He would do a little dance exclaim with gusto, \u201cWe\u2019re having such a good time!\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s so much fun to have Yom Tov!\u201d and \u201cShabbos is so much fun!\u201d Grandchildren recall that when they came to visit on Yom Tov, he made a circle and danced a little jig, singing: \u201cL\u2019kavod Yom Tov, choo, choo, choo!\u201dWhen his children were young, he took them on Chol Hamo\u2019ed trips, such as to the zoo, but first he would remind them that it was Yom Tov and that Yom Tov was so much fun. Then, with genuine enthusiasm, he pointed out the wonders of Hashem\u2019s creations.He made his children a melaveh malkah filled with exciting antics and then served ice-cream which was a real treat in those days. He made a whole production out of it, especially when dividing up the portions, to make them excited. When putting out the pieces of chametz for bedikas chometz, he put a piece of chocolate in with each piece to make it exciting.With his grandchildren as well he tried to make motzaei Shabbos fun. He had the grandchildren make a recording of themselves singing and then he played it back for them. He allotted fifteen minutes for this, and when the time was up he simply said, \u201cAh guteh voch,\u201d and went back to his learning. In his later years, on motzaei Shabbos, all the young children who lived nearby would go upstairs to his apartment, where he would give them each a dollar and prizes.-Rav Avigdor Miller: His Life and His Revolutionp. 240-241Part III.The Wise WomanWOMEN IN THE CONSTRUCTION BUSINESSNow, when we talk about building a home, about creating a home that finds favor in the eyes of Hashem, we are reminded of thepossukin Mishlei (14:1): \u05d7\u05b7\u05db\u05b0\u05de\u05d5\u05b9\u05ea \u05e0\u05b8\u05e9\u05b4\u05c1\u05d9\u05dd \u05d1\u05b8\u05bc\u05e0\u05b0\u05ea\u05b8\u05d4 \u05d1\u05b5\u05d9\u05ea\u05b8\u05d4\u05bc \u2013 \u201cThe wise woman builds up her house\u201d. You know, Dovid Hamelech said: \u05d0\u05b2\u05e0\u05b4\u05d9 \u05e2\u05b7\u05d1\u05b0\u05d3\u05b0\u05bc\u05da\u05b8 \u05d1\u05b6\u05bc\u05df \u05d0\u05b2\u05de\u05b8\u05ea\u05b6\u05da\u05b8 \u2013 \u201cI am Your servant Hashem, the son of your maidservant\u201d (Tehillim 116:16). He didn\u2019t mention his father; his father was a great man, but Dovid said \u201cI am your servant,becausemy mother was your maidservant.\u201d You hear that?!That\u2019s why one of the sages, Rabbi Yosi always called his wife: \u05d1\u05b5\u05bc\u05d9\u05ea\u05b4\u05d9 \u2013 \u201cMy home,\u201d because she\u2019s the one who really creates the home (Shabbos 118b); to a very great extent the success of a home depends on the atmosphere that is created by the mother in that home. Without her, the home is just a hollow shell, and she is the one who breathes the most success into the building of theBeis Yisroel.HOME OF PRAYERThe home should be a place oftefillahand it is the mother who must present herself as the symbol of prayer, the model oftefilahfor the Am Yisroel. Now, she can\u2019t stand and pray long prayers; she\u2019s busy with a lot of things in the house. But the mother must be a mother of prayer. Our mothers always prayed a great deal; a Jewish mother should pray even more than a man prays. Men have certain circumscribed duties and because of that, some of them, in order to discharge their duties, gallop through thedavenen. It\u2019s just something that has to be done, so they do it. They gallop through a bigdavening. But Jewish mothers don\u2019t do that. A Jewish mother in the home should be turning to Hashem all day long. The old-time Jewish women had a handbook of prayers \u2013 prayers for everything, for every kind of eventuality. She would be praying for help in the home, that her supper should come out tasting delicious. Or for a child who is not well and for a child who is not going exactly on the straight path. Today too, a mother prays constantly that the washing machine shouldn\u2019t break down, that her husband should earn a livelihood, that he should find favor in the eyes of his boss and get a raise.So besides the fact that immediately, the first thing in the morning when the children wake up, they hear \u201cAbba is davening inshul; Abba\u2019s learning.\u201d The children are always asking, \u201cDid Totty come back fromshulyet?\u201d and the mother tells them, \u201cTotty is in shul talking to Hashem; he\u2019ll be home soon.\u201d That\u2019s how the Jewish home starts out every day, but besides for that, the mother spends the rest of the day absorbed in speaking to Hashem about everything. In the olden days the Jewish mother actually was a symbol of prayer even more than the husband; it\u2019s something that\u2019s forgotten today but that is one of the greatest achievements in a Jewish home. A Jewish mother should always be praying and the children who grow up with that know that their house is a home where Hashem resides. The aristocratic Jewish home actually became a Beis Hamikdash.THE BRACHOS MASHGIACHThe Jewish home should be a place of sayingbrachos; all thebrachosshould be said out loud. Not long ago, it was the practice that when the family was about to eat, so they all washed, and the mother stood over them like amashgiachin ayeshivaand she paid attention as each child made thebrachaaloud, \u201cAl netilas yadayim\u201d; you could hear every word. And the mother said, \u201cAmen.\u201d And she had a watchful eye to see that nobody was cheating. And then they came to the table and each one had to makehamotziand the words resounded on all sides; every child thanked Hashem for the little piece of bread in front of him. And they sat around the table likekohanimaround themizbei\u2019ach.When they live this way in the home, the children are raised with the understanding that they are living in something that\u2019s more than four walls and a roof \u2013 they\u2019re living in a palace and they begin to follow these principles.THE FOOLISH WOMANAnd now we turn to the end of thepossuk, \u05d7\u05b7\u05db\u05b0\u05de\u05d5\u05b9\u05ea \u05e0\u05b8\u05e9\u05b4\u05c1\u05d9\u05dd \u05d1\u05b8\u05bc\u05e0\u05b0\u05ea\u05b8\u05d4 \u05d1\u05b5\u05d9\u05ea\u05b8\u05d4\u05bc, \u201cThe wise woman spends her days building \u2013 \u05d5\u05b0\u05d0\u05b4\u05d5\u05b6\u05bc\u05dc\u05b6\u05ea, but the foolish woman, \u05d1\u05b0\u05bc\u05d9\u05b8\u05d3\u05b6\u05d9\u05d4\u05b8 \u05ea\u05b6\u05d4\u05b6\u05e8\u05b0\u05e1\u05b6\u05e0\u05bc\u05d5\u05bc, with her own hands she overthrows the house.\u201d No matter what ailment she is suffering, she must keep it to herself. Some people, usually women, but men too, think that if they constantly speak about what is bothering them it relieves them, they find relief. And it could be true, could be. But one thing is certain, it\u2019s not relieving the home. The atmosphere of nobility, the atmosphere of aristocratic cheer and confidence is undermined by sadness and complaining in the home; the husband shuns his complaining wife\u2019s company, and vica-versa when he complains, and the atmosphere of a place for achieving perfection is lost.Never pessimism, never complaining. Complaining is one of the forms of breaking down a home. Even if there is no quarrel between husband and wife and even if the children are behaving and are loyal, if there is a complaining person in the house \u2013 if the mother or father complain frequently \u2013 then the morale in the house is broken. You cannot have a successful home, even a non-Jewish home, if there is complaining.Nobody likes a complainer! And even though you feel you want sympathy, and you think that you deserve that they should lend their ears to your sighs and groans \u2013 and most probably you do deserve it \u2013 but you\u2019re not making your home successful.THE JINGLE THAT RUINS THENESHAMASuppose you wake up one morning and it\u2019s raining, sheets of rain are coming down from the sky, so the foolish mother complains \u201cOy, it\u2019s raining outside. It\u2019s terrible; I wanted to go out and now the rain spoiled all of our fun today.\u201d So little Chanaleh, whenever she sees a rain come down, she\u2019ll remember \u2013 without even thinking, she\u2019ll forget where it came from, but her instincts hark back to that pattern that was first molded on her young plasticneshama, and she knows that rain is a disappointment, it spoils everything. Here you have a mother standing by the window with her children, looking out at the rain. And the children are waiting for the rain to stop; they want to go out and play already. \u201cRain rain go away.\u201d They\u2019re singing that foolish jingle. There are so many rainy days in life; isn\u2019t it a pity for the child to be molded in the wrong way?If a mother could instill in her child the proper way to think; she says \u201cLook Chanaleh, it\u2019s raining outside. Isn\u2019t that fun?\u201d Chanaleh has no sense; she hasn\u2019t developed an attitude towards rain yet. So Chanaleh says, \u201cYes it\u2019s fun.\u201d Her mother is still the fountain of all wisdom and so she agrees with her mother. And now for the rest of her life rain is going to be fun!This mother has the most wonderful opportunity. \u201cKinderlach,look at the beautiful rain coming down. Isn\u2019t it beautiful?! Isn\u2019t rain fun?! Hashem is sending us down all the food that we eat. It\u2019s apples and cherries and danishes coming down from the sky. Rain brings down all good things for us. Let\u2019s say together, \u2018Thank You Hashem for the rain.\u2019\u201d Now the children might look at their mother with blank faces; Rain? Wonderful? But it sinks into their little heads that rain is beautiful; that Hashem is beautiful!YOUR NEVER-ENDING ROLEAnd so, no matter what the circumstances are, if a father and mother, a husband and wife, make it a principle always to display to each other and to the children a face of good cheer and confidence, then first of all they affect each other \u2013 they create in each other similar attitudes, and secondly they themselves become transformed.What you\u2019re hearing now is of utmost importance. Always in the Jewish home there must reign an atmosphere of confidence and happiness. It\u2019s very important to always remember that you have the role of an actor; you can\u2019t be natural \u2013 being natural is not achochma, and you need chochma to build up the house. It\u2019s easy to be sad, to be downcast. It\u2019s easy to let your feelings go and ruin the atmosphere. It\u2019s easy to be a failure.Don\u2019t think that it doesn\u2019t have any effect! When you speak of Hashem in the home, when you constantly talk about Torah ideals, you\u2019re planting those ideals in their minds. Little by little you\u2019re changing your children. You\u2019re planting seeds in their minds and as they grow older, they will water those seeds with their own wisdom. And when they\u2019re grown up, and they\u2019re tending a beautiful garden in their mind, a garden of Torah attitudes permeated with thoughts of Hashem, that\u2019s the garden that you planted so many years before with the words of your mouth.But to be a success, needs planning. And don\u2019t think it\u2019s not going to repay you. The happiness, the satisfaction of a successful day in the house is a reward without end. It\u2019s a reward in this world and it\u2019s a reward forever and ever in Olam Haba.THE TREASURE OF OPPORTUNITYAnd so, the misfortune of a home that was afflicted withtzara\u2019ason its walls actually became the great gift of knowledge, the understanding of what a treasure a Jewish home is for a family. \u05d5\u05b0\u05e0\u05b8\u05ea\u05b7\u05e5 \u05d0\u05b6\u05ea \u05d4\u05b7\u05d1\u05b7\u05bc\u05d9\u05b4\u05ea \u2013 \u201cAnd he shall break down the house, \u05d0\u05b6\u05ea \u05d0\u05b2\u05d1\u05b8\u05e0\u05b8\u05d9\u05d5 \u05d5\u05b0\u05d0\u05b6\u05ea \u05e2\u05b5\u05e6\u05b8\u05d9\u05d5, \u05d5\u05b0\u05d0\u05b5\u05ea, \u05db\u05b8\u05bc\u05dc \u05e2\u05b2\u05e4\u05b7\u05e8 \u05d4\u05b7\u05d1\u05b8\u05bc\u05d9\u05b4\u05ea \u2013 its stones and its timber and all the mortar of the house; \u05d5\u05b0\u05d4\u05d5\u05b9\u05e6\u05b4\u05d9\u05d0 \u05d0\u05b6\u05dc \u05de\u05b4\u05d7\u05d5\u05bc\u05e5 \u05dc\u05b8\u05e2\u05b4\u05d9\u05e8, \u05d0\u05b6\u05dc \u05de\u05b8\u05e7\u05d5\u05b9\u05dd \u05d8\u05b8\u05de\u05b5\u05d0 and he shall carry them out of the town into an unclean place\u201d (Metzora 14:45). Athough a family might discover a treasure trove that was hidden between the stones of the wall, that was only symbolic of the true treasure that he was expected to discover as they watched the walls of the house being torn down.And that treasure is the awareness of what an opportunity a house is. The breaking down of the walls of a house is a tragedy of great proportions, but the greater tragedy is the breakdown of the Torah Home that had taken place there long before thenega tzaraasset in. The missed opportunities of \u05dc\u05b0\u05d4\u05b7\u05e2\u05b2\u05de\u05b4\u05d9\u05d3 \u05d0\u05bb\u05de\u05b8\u05bc\u05d4 \u05d4\u05b8\u05e2\u05d5\u05b9\u05d1\u05b6\u05d3\u05b6\u05ea \u05d0\u05b6\u05ea \u05d4\u05b7\u05e9\u05b5\u05bc\u05c1\u05dd in that home are what really tore down the walls of that home.And as the homeowner and his family watch the physical destruction of the home, the lesson they are learning is the greatest treasure of all. Now they look back at the great happiness that the walls of the home afforded them, and which they failed to appreciate while they still possessed it. And you can be sure that it wasn\u2019t only this family that learned this lesson. When the house is being torn down, and while the family stands outside watching and then begin to carry out of the city all the stone and wood that had once made up their home, all the neighbors watched in sadness and empathy, and if they were wise they also took the lesson to heart.And certainly the lesson wasn\u2019t intended only for them, but even we today are expected to learn the eternal lessons ofnigei batim.And the least that we can do is to remind ourselves constantly, day in and day out, of gratitude for the walls of our own home as well as for the superb institution of the home, the place where the Am Yisroel is being built. And the use of the home foravodas Hashemin countless ways is indeed the duty of gratitude which Hashem expects most; the home where parents and children understand its purpose becomes a place where the child learns optimism, confidence and happiness. And that\u2019s how he goes out to view the world for the rest of his life. And that\u2019s going to make him anovedHashem m\u2019toch simchaand he\u2019ll bema\u2019arich yomim in happiness.Go Back See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.