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In the book, \u201cWhen Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times,\u201d Pema Ch\xf6dr\xf6n expresses the idea of not causing harm to yourself or others. Of course, she means causing no physical harm, but just as important, not causing harm to ourselves by the ways in which we think about ourselves. For example, not being self-deprecating when we don\u2019t believe in ourselves and not being overly self-critical.

If we don\u2019t love ourselves, it may be that we haven\u2019t questioned the beliefs we hold about certain things in our\xa0lives. We may go about our lives based on these uncritically held beliefs\u200a\u2014\u200aalso not knowing what we value. When something happens that\u2019s perceived as a negative, we blame ourselves.\xa0

For example, a gay man dealing with gay shame or anyone who identifies as queer dealing with the shame of being othered\u200a\u2014\u200ahaving felt like they never fit in growing up as a child and adolescent. Not having seen yourself properly represented in a meaningful, thoughtful, loving, and self-accepting way while growing up during your formative years can play havoc with your self-love.

Read the complete post at Think Queerly on Medium.

If you would like to have a more in-depth discussion about how you can become more mindful\u200a\u2014\u200aand how that can have an impact on your skillfulness as a queer creative or thought leader\u200a\u2014\u200alet\u2019s meet for a conversation.

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