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We had a bit of a quarrel yesterday and wanted to share what happened, and then how we were able to deal with it. The good thing about the more kids you have, you cut through drama quickly, which has been a great thing in marriage because it helps us to focus and pinpoint the exact thing that was causing the drama we went through and resolve the problem. Sometimes it takes a little quarrel to reveal what the underlying cause of annoyance or stress is, which you can then come back to a little later when everyone has calmed down and talk about it, and then help one another resolve it.

An issue we had yesterday 1:21
Adam\u2019s frustration 6:23
You have to do the work 11:50
Bringing up the past 17:46
A few principles that really help us 19:07
You can\u2019t fix the unknown 25:40

\u201cSometimes with your spouse, they may be stressed or something is going on with them and the problem that comes up isn\u2019t the actual problem. So you might have an argument about something that\u2019s not actually the problem, but when you\u2019ve cooled down and come back to the drawing board where you say, \u2018Look, let\u2019s figure out what\u2019s going on. Why was there frustration? Why was there annoyance?\u2019 Something else comes up that\u2019s actually the problem.\u201d 4:54

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