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What does it really mean to be confident in the bedroom? On this episode, we are joined by Dr. Alison Ash, a trained, Trauma-Informed Intimacy Coach, Educator, and Founder of TurnON.love. Dr. Aly helped pioneer research into the orgasm gap and has written books and articles on topics ranging from pleasure in heterosexual dynamics to queer identities and experiences. Join us for an insightful conversation that touches on many different aspects of sexual relationships. From self-discovery and the co-creation process, to dealing with shame and distinguishing it from guilt, our conversation is a deep dive into the fundamental elements of healthy, fulfilling sexual experiences. Dr. Aly demystifies the complex world of intimacy and the factors that all too often stand in its way. Thanks for listening!

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Key Points From This Episode:

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\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Introducing Dr. Alison Ash, Intimacy Coach, Educator, and Founder of the website, TurnON.love.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Her career journey which began in sociology before she found her true passion in education.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 The constant process of self-inquiry and self-discovery necessary for fulfilling sexual experiences.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 What it means to have the confidence to co-create your sexual experiences.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 How shame can damage our relationship to sex and our bodies.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Empathy, reassurance, and normalization.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Differentiating between guilt and shame.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Three attributes of sex positivity.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Components that make up sexual consent.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Defining boundaries according to capacity.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Tips for affirming a romantic partner.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 The role of self-deprecation in preventing intimacy.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 How communication can enhance emotional connection during sex.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Tips for creating safety to share with your partner.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 What lies at the core of any sexual fantasy.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Dr. Aly\u2019s work and different options she offers for coaching and workshops.

Quotes:

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\u201cSociety at large is pretty bad at templating healthy intimacy skills, but it is a skill, like any skill, something we can get better at with proper instruction and practice.\u201d\xa0[0:02:47]

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\u201cOne of the first things I tell folks is that sexual empowerment comes from knowing yourself.\u201d\xa0[0:04:26]

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\u201cSome of the best sex comes from having a mutual shared orientation towards exploring and not having to have all the answers.\u201d\xa0[0:05:39]

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\u201cSo much of feeling confident and sexually liberated, and having fulfilling sex and relationships is about uncovering the things that we feel ashamed about and moving through it.\u201d [0:08:46]

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\u201cA lot of institutions try to teach through shame. I think it's way less effective and problematic as supposed to holding somebody with love and compassion, but still accountability for mistakes.\u201d [0:13:59]

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\u201cAn affirmation is a compliment on steroids.\u201d [0:21:10]

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Links Mentioned in Today\u2019s Episode:

TurnOn Love \u2014 https://www.turnon.love/

Dr. Alison Ash on LinkedIn \u2014 https://www.linkedin.com/in/alisonashphd/

Dr. Alison Ash on Facebook \u2014 https://www.facebook.com/dralisonash/

Dr. Alison Ash on Instagram \u2014 https://www.instagram.com/turnon.love/

Dr. Alison Ash on X \u2014 https://twitter.com/turnon_love

Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills Mastercourse \u2014 https://www.turnon.love/sexual-and-emotional-intimacy-skills

Sustainable Intimacy \u2014 https://www.turnon.love/sustainable-intimacyold

Bad Girls Bible Newsletter \u2014 https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter