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What if your past didn\u2019t have to dictate your future?

Esin Pinarli is a human behavior specialist offering psychotherapy to couples, using the Imago and Gottman methods in conjunction with emotional-focused therapy. She joins us to share her perspective on the deep-rooted beliefs behind our actions and reactions within the context of relationships.

We touch on how trauma affects us all, and common actions that trigger a trauma response within relationships. Tune in to hear how the support of a therapist can help everyone to unpack the experiences behind their trauma, how the four attachment styles impact our relationships, and how the pandemic has changed the way in which we relate to one another.

Esin also explains the role of our nervous system in creating connection and attachment, common reasons why couples become dissatisfied with their sex lives, and much more.

Key Points From This Episode:

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 An introduction to Esin Pinarli\u2019s counseling practice.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Unpacking the buzzword, \u2018trauma\u2019, and how it affects all of us.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Common actions that trigger a trauma response.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 The role of negativity bias.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Advice for those seeking to address their trauma.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 How a therapist can support people as they unpack the experiences behind their trauma.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 The four attachment styles and how they impact our relationships.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 What the collective trauma of the pandemic has done to the state of attachment.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Differentiating between introversion and the avoidant personality type.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 How codependency fits into attachment styles.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Your nervous system\u2019s role in creating connection and attachment.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Why couples become dissatisfied with their sex lives.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 What effective communication might look like.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Cultivating \u2018the space between\u2019 where intimacy exists within relationships.

\u2022\xa0\xa0\xa0 Simple solutions for the process addiction that comes from porn usage.

Quotes:

\u201cPeople always think they have to qualify for trauma. Everybody has had a certain level of embedded trauma.\u201d \u2014 Esin Pinarli [0:02:41]

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\u201cWe should always be doing the work. There are just so many things in our subconscious that we are not aware of.\u201d \u2014 Esin Pinarli [0:10:33]

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\u201cA therapist is somebody who will help you to make sense of what\u2019s inside of you, and to untangle and unprocess that trauma so that it doesn\u2019t dictate your future.\u201d \u2014 Esin Pinarli [0:11:37]

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\u201cIf you don\u2019t have enough rupture and repair, you always end up feeling disconnected from your partner.\u201d \u2014 Esin Pinarli [0:42:15]

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\u201cNot only do we have a dance with our romantic partners, a cadence and a rhythm, but there\u2019s a space between us that is where the intimacy is.\u201d \u2014 Esin Pinarli [0:43:13]

Links Mentioned in Today\u2019s Episode:

Esin Pinarli on Instagram \u2014\xa0https://www.instagram.com/esinpinarli_lcsw/

Esin Pinarli on LinkedIn \u2014 https://www.linkedin.com/in/esin-pinarli-73ab1722/

Eternal Wellness Counseling \u2014 https://www.eternalwellnesscounseling.com/

Codependent No More \u2014 https://www.amazon.com/Melody-Beattie-Codependent-Controlling-Yourself/dp/B004R125R4/

Bad Girls Bible Sex Tips Newsletter \u2014 https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter

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