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In this episode, we talk to Alison Armstrong, who is a world-renowned expert on male/female, masculine/feminine dynamics. Alison is an author and a sought-after speaker in gender differences and dynamics, sexuality, relationships, and more. In our conversation, she offers beautiful advice about how to better manage these relationships to lead to greater fulfillment for both partners. She\u2019s here to teach you how to own everything that you are, so you can find love again.\xa0I don\u2019t think I could have had a more perfect guest on this Valentine\u2019s day!

Connect With Alison:

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• [02:10] - What is the most astonishing discovery that Alison has made about men and women, and they way they connect?
• [05:02] - Alison has said that we see men as \u201chairy, misbehaving women.\u201d She talks more about the way the genders interact.
• [08:20] - Orion points out that men don\u2019t like to report as much as women do; Alison takes it a step further, emphasizing how deeply ingrained it is in men not to expend energy on conversations like this.
• [10:10] - Alison discusses Orion\u2019s use of the word \u201cobey\u201d in relation to men, and talks about the importance of appreciating people\u2019s good choices.
• [12:13] - Alison talks about how to view the \u201cpart\u201d in \u201cpartnership,\u201d how important it is to show appreciation in the other person\u2019s currency, and the \u201cworth it calculation.\u201d
• [18:43] - What are some ways to find and speak our partner\u2019s love language?
• [20:02] - Alison offers an example to explain why love languages and appreciation currencies matter. She also talks about the teleclass called The Appreciation Equation on her site.
• [25:15] - At Alison\u2019s house, she and her husband have something called a \u201ccredit tour,\u201d where they point out the things they need to be appreciated for.
• [25:40] - What makes a woman attractive to a man? Alison\u2019s somewhat surprising answer is that instead of worrying about being attractive, you should show that you\u2019re attracted to him.
• [30:00] - Orion talks about her Awaken Your Inner Goddess Challenge. She then asks Alison\u2019s advice for what women should do to heal themselves. In her answer, Alison emphasizes the importance of forgiving oneself.
• [37:09] - When Alison talks about \u201cowning,\u201d is that public or private? And how do we get to a place of owning ourselves and our actions?
• [40:12] - Alison talks about Valentine\u2019s Day, starting with her aversion to its disempowering history and false beginning.
• [44:44] - Money is like a man, Allison says, and explains the connection. Again, she emphasizes the need to be impressed and appreciative.
• [46:42] - Alison offers her advice on healing from betrayal, trusting again, and rediscovering faith in love. Much of this revolves around unspoken expectations on both parts.
• {53:02] - What are Alison\u2019s three tips for living a stellar life? 1. Figure out what your shortlist (of things you truly need) is. 2. Make clear to everyone who you care about what your needs are, and ask if they\u2019ll provide it to you. 3. Assess whether the shortlist of what people are able to provide to you matches the shortlist of what you need.

1. Try to avoid asking a man a relationship question unless you want a literal answer. He\u2019s more likely to try to genuinely answer it than to take any hint you intended with the question.
2. Don\u2019t take it personally if your guy answers your questions about his day with \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cfine.\u201d It\u2019s his hunter instinct to conserve energy showing itself.
3. Be direct about what you want or need from your partner. You need to provide clarity if you want your partner to provide what you\u2019re asking for.

Understand Men on Facebook
UnderstandMen.com
The Queen\u2019s Code
Love languages
The Appreciation Equation
Awaken Your Inner Goddess Challenge
A Hero\u2019s Challenge