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Where are the Vampire Linguists?; by F. Ang Bangah; From Volume CLVII, Number 2, of Speculative Grammarian, September 2009 \u2014 Though many people have had trouble coming to terms with the truth about vampires since they \u201ccame out of the coffin\u201d in the so-called Great Revelation\u2014made possible by the creation of the Japanese synthetic blood substitute\u2014their presence represents a unique and untapped opportunity for historians, linguists, and anthropologists. Non-supernaturals have had much opportunity to learn about vampires and others in the biographic works of Charlaine Harris, which have recently been dramatized in the HBO documentary television series True Blood. But one aspect of vampires\u2019 existence has been largely ignored; since vampires are effectively immortal, and several are hundreds of years old\u2014and a few thought to be even thousands of years old\u2014the insight and data they can provide offer an unparalleled chance to pierce the mists of time and peer back into (non-vampire) human history. (Read by Trey Jones.)