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Tridekavalent Verbs of Telenovelity in Mydlov\xe1skji; by \u015a\u016bnyat\u0101 Qo\u0263usun; From Volume CLIX, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, May 2010 \u2014 This summer I set out to do some introductory fieldwork on an endangered minority language in Mexico of possibly Slavic origin, called Mydlov\xe1skji by its speakers, and referred to as simply \u201clengua esl\xe1vica\u201d, \u201cSlavic language\u201d or \u201clengua Ruski\u201d, \u201cRussian language\u201d, by the local Spanish-speaking majority population. My efforts were thwarted by the fact that the men and women of the barrio in which the majority of Mydlov\xe1skji speakers live engage primarily in two activities: working on off-shore oil drilling platforms, and watching telenovelas. While potential informants are engaged in either of these activities it is not really possible to do much in the way of productive fieldwork, though one extremely unusual feature of Mydlov\xe1skji did present itself during my time in Mexico. (Read by Trey Jones.)