b'The Prudent Fieldworker\\u2019s Guide to Preparation and Packing\\u2014Part I; by Athanasious Schadenpoodle; From Volume CLVIII, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, April 2010 \\u2014 [Editor\\u2019s Note: While Prof. Schadenpoodle has, to our knowledge, only gone on two excursions, he is quite famous in our field for his awareness of, and proactive preparation for, hazards. On six separate occasions, campus security has had to rescue students who inadvertently triggered the defensive perimeter around his office, and two hapless sophomores spent over three days lost in the steam tunnels under the campus trying to find it in the first place.] (Read by Keith Slater.)'