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The Hidden Language of Public Seduction\u2014An Anthropological Linguistic Study of Spanyol; by Claude Searsplainpockets; From Volume CLIII, Number 1, of Speculative Grammarian, September 2007 \u2014 Earlier this year, in preparation for fieldwork in Mozambique, Chad, and Japan, I decided to review some Spanish-language pedagogical audio materials. As I was listening intently and re-acquainting myself with this beautiful language, I was quite surprised to hear many seemingly innocuous phrases presented with a tone of voice that would normally only be appropriate in a love song by Barry White. I wondered, why did the \u201cnative\u201d speaker\u2019s pronunciation of \u201cuno, dos, tres\u201d make me feel oddly hot and bothered? (Read by Claude Searsplainpockets.)