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Proto-Indo-Spamopean\u2014An Early Exemplar of \u201cYe Olde Baite of Yon Clicke\u201d; by X. Kuvador, R. Kialugist, and Pael E. O\u2019Ntolojiss; From Volume CLXXIII, Number 4, of Speculative Grammarian, August 2015 \u2014 While many today lament the imminent demise of the English language (Hat 2006), the corrupting influence of western culture (Bolson 2014), and the amorality of advertising and the pursuit of the mighty dollar (Board 2010), it is nonetheless clear to the classically educated scholar (Plaid\u2019oh 2009) that, really, there is nothing new under the sun (van der Meer 2013). (Read by Trey Jones & Jonathan van der Meer.)