Je suis /hoze/; by Chesterton Wilburfors Gilchrist, Jr.; From Volume CLVII, Number 1 of Speculative Grammarian, August 2009. \u2014 Once again I am compelled to relate the tale of graduate students who have displayed shocking behaviour in the pursuit of linguistic analysis. I have written previously of some students who left me flabbergasted after proposing an analysis of Spanish "hola" as an inflection of a back-formed infinitive "holar", meaning \u201cto be greeted\u201d. (Read by Trey Jones.)