Episode 360: Mixing up names and improving without feedback

Published: June 12, 2023, noon

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

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    At work, I occasionally mix names of people in my team when I refer to them in meetings. My mother used to do this with my siblings when I was a child and I hated it. I guess I am getting older. Should I just accept the defeat? Any suggestions how to deal with this?

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    How do I find areas to improve without critical feedback? I\u2019ve had regular 1-on-1s with multiple people over the years (managers, mentors, tech leads), and asked for feedback regularly. Yet, most, if not all of the feedback I received was positive. Even when I stress that I want to receive critical feedback as well, the other person tells me that they do give such feedback to other devs, they just don\u2019t have anything to criticize!

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    This sounds like a humble brag, but I\u2019m concerned that I will stop growing and improving if this goes on. I\u2019m also a bit worried that deep down, the managers/leads just keep quiet to keep me happy - either because we have a friendly relationship, or because I\u2019m one of the only women on the team (not trying to accuse them of sexism, but lets be real - \u201clocker room talks\u201d are held back when I\u2019m around, and it might cause some people to be less frank to avoid possible \u201c\u2018drama\u201d).

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    Due to the lack of direction, I\u2019m trying to look at my senior colleagues and what they do better than me - do they have more technical knowledge, do they communicate better, etc. - but it\u2019s often hard to apply to myself due to specializing in different areas, having different personalities and so on.

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