Move from Powerless to Empowered in Your Relationships with Carol the Coach

Published: July 5, 2022, 2 p.m.

In 2019, Charlen Benson, wrote the book Unstuck book. She has added a missing piece to the book and wanted our viewers to know that she has created a Study Guide which\xa0 offers thought provoking questions, easy-to-follow checklists, road-tested tips, healing exercise, insightful writing prompts, and profoundly moving prayers.\n\nShe explains to Carol the Coach, "When we are \u2018on the road\u2019 in our relationship, we get along fine and are able to navigate amicably our varying interests and desires.\xa0 On the road, we are conscious, mindful, balanced, and aware.\xa0\n\nHowever, when we don\u2019t know how to balance our wants and desires with our mate, it\u2019s like we get stuck in a ditch. Where we land depends on childhood experiences.\xa0 We either default to becoming a people pleaser Others-Focused\u201d (OF) or insist on our own way \u201cMe-Focused.\u201d (MF).\xa0 Over time I discovered 21 predictable OF and MF default behaviors, though that\u2019s not an exhaustive list. Each ditch behavior represents and extreme behavior that is a subconscious, automatic, preprogrammed, reaction, driven by fear and feeling powerless to do anything else.\xa0 When the default behaviors don\u2019t work, we switch to the opposite extreme reaction, propelling our counterpart to the opposite ditch.\n\nOF\u2019s engage in their behaviors to protect themselves from the rejection they experienced in childhood by acting in abandoning ways, while MF\u2019s try to protect themselves from abandonment by acting in rejecting ways.\xa0\n\nWhen we identify our reactive behaviors, name the fears driving them, we then can overcome those fears by engaging in a combination of the 24 strategies offered. "\n\nFind out how you can create healthier relationships too!