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Welcome to episode #171! This week, Matt and Braden talk with Joy Skarka of Authentic Intimacy about her story of rape and addiction, breaking shame, and embracing God's good design of sexual desire.

Joy's rape led to coping in her porn addiction

Joy got raped on her third day of university, which led to lots of confusion and pain. She tried to understand what had happened to her by learning about sex on Google. This led her to porn, which turned into her coping mechanism in her anger and confusion regarding her rape. Joy wondered if her rape was her fault and didn't talk to anybody about it or her porn addiction for a long time.

Joy got the gift of going second

Joy heard a lady publicly confess her own porn addiction and it was the first time Joy realized that she wasn't alone in her battle. She calls this experience 'the gift of going second' because somebody was willing to open the door for her to be vulnerable and honest about her struggles. Vulnerability is leadership and when we are able to be vulnerable with others, it can lead to lasting freedom in their lives.

We all need sexually discipleship

When Joy got married, she thought she was more broken than her husband who had never had a porn addiction. She realized that he still had his own journey of working through sexual brokenness and misunderstandings, even though it wasn't strictly an issue with porn. When we've been neglected in the area of healthy and biblical teaching about sex, it can take a long time to unlearn damaging beliefs and re-learn what the Bible really says, but putting the time in to do this work helps break the shame and lies that so often keep us in addiction and self-condemnation.

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Resources

Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

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Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

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Podcast Hosts

BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.