141. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

Published: April 1, 2022, 4 a.m.

"I'm glad to be here with you Samwise Gamgee. Here at the end of all things." We watched The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King all by our damn selves and we\u2019re ready for second breakfast. OK let\u2019s be real, these movies aren\u2019t exactly passing the Bechtel Test but when the ladies are finally trotted out they\u2019re serving fragrance commercial Eleganza and we\u2019re loving every fleeting minute of it. Orlando Bloom as Legolas the Elf ignited many a sexual awakening and the Hobbits are really giving us a lot to work with in this episode.\xa0 Did Frodo and Sam get gay Hobbit married on the side of that mountain? We like to think so.\xa0 Once circuit-gay Gollum gets thrown into the volcano and destroys the Ring Frodo goes through his emo phase, Sam marries a lady-Hobbit and they both act like their mountain-top wedding never happened.\xa0 A likely story.\xa0

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