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The journey into motherhood can be filled with many challenges. The situation is worsened if one grew up with a difficult relationship with one or both parents. Such is the personal story you\u2019ll hear in today\u2019s show. Join us.\nJaimi Martin came from a very difficult childhood with a mother who suffered from mental illness. Jaimi shares some of the dynamics that played out with her and her mother, carrying over to shape her own journey into motherhood. Jaimi discusses sensitive topics, like suicide, so use your discretion in listening. Since Jaimi is a therapist specializing in perinatal mental health, she is able to give insight into how her early experiences have impacted her. Jaimi now lives in San Diego with her husband and sensitive four-your-old son. After a career devoted to children and adults with emotional needs, Jaimi changed gears after the birth of her son, since she found herself without support or knowledge about what she was experiencing. Once she learned about postpartum depression and anxiety, she became an advocate for women and now serves as a volunteer for Postpartum Support International. Last year, she became perinatal mental health certified and now works with mothers, supporting their growth and discovery through her private practice, Womanhood Counseling.\nShow Highlights:\n\nThe basics of Jaimi\u2019s childhood story:\n\nRaised by a single mom who also had a difficult and detached relationship with her own mother\n\nJaimi\u2019s mom\u2019s childhood was filled with physical, emotional, and substance abuse\n\nJaimi\u2019s mom had children early, and CPS visits and interventions were frequent\n\nJaimi grew up with many suicide attempts by her mom and an alcoholic stepdad; she was trained to not talk about the family\u2019s dysfunction\n\nWhen Jaimi moved out at 18, her mom followed her and promised many times that she would change, but she never followed through\n\nJaimi\u2019s mom blamed Jaimi for all her troubles\n\nA therapist urged Jaimi to move far away to escape her mom, so she went to San Francisco and pursued a career in social work\n\nThe call that told Jaimi her mother had been successful in her final suicide attempt\n\nHow Jaimi suffered through the grief of her mom\u2019s suicide, thinking that it was a game and that she would surely \u201cshow up\u201d one day\n\nThe sense of \u201crelief\u201d that Jaimi felt because her mom was gone, which prompted much shame and secrecy about her feelings\n\nHow Jaimi worked through the grief process with a therapist but knew she didn\u2019t want to ever become a mother\n\nWhen she met and married her husband at age 39, the doctor said she would probably never get pregnant without intervention\n\nThe relief that Jaimi felt about not having kids, but her husband was left grieving the loss of fatherhood\n\nIronically, Jaimi became pregnant the next month and felt wholly betrayed by her body because it did what she didn\u2019t want it to do\n\nThe birth of Jaimi\u2019s son, along with intense fear and anxiety that he would never attach to her\n\nThe additional fears of karma \u201ccatching up to her\u201d for what she had done to other families as a CPS worker\n\nJaimi\u2019s postpartum crisis, when she lost weight and \u201cdidn\u2019t feel OK\u201d\n\nJaimi\u2019s terrifying experience with a postpartum therapist\n\nHow Jaimi found the Mom & Mind podcast and the pieces fell into place to make sense of her attachment issues\n\nHow Jaimi found help in books, podcasts, and moms\u2019 support groups\n\nHow Jaimi learned to give her son what he needs as a sensitive child\n\nHow Jaimi made the shift from CPS work to her private practice\n\nJaimi\u2019s hopeful messages: \u201cIf you\u2019ve gone through the suicide of a loved one, you are not alone. There is a community out there that understands. There is no shame when someone you love dies by suicide. Own your feelings and hold space for them.\u201d\n\nResources:\nWomanhood Counseling\nFacebook: Womanhood Counseling\nInstagram: Womanhood Counseling