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What are your dating non-negotiables? For Hyla Sabesin Finn, it was smoking \u2014 or so she thought. Hyla met Larry in college. She was 17; he was a 21-year-old law student, puffing away outside the library. Hyla had been \u201cindoctrinated by parents whose cocktail parties were littered with \u2018no smoking\u2019 signs back when smokers still mingled freely in society,\u201d she wrote in her 2005 Modern Love essay. In spite of this, she was smitten. \n\nToday\u2019s episode explores how our standards can evolve (if at all) when it comes to love. Our host, Anna Martin, calls up her friends to ask about their deal breakers. Plus, we get to hear from Hyla and Larry, who\u2019ve now been married for 35 years.\n\nModern Love is hosting its sixth college essay contest this year! If you\u2019re an undergraduate at an American college or university, tell us what love is like for you. Visit nytimes.com/essaycontest for submission details. The deadline is March 27.