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Three months into the pandemic, Haili Blassingame was crafting an email to her boyfriend of five years, Malcolm, with the subject line \u201cMy Terms.\u201d She wanted to break up. Haili had met Malcolm in college. At first she was \u201cgiddy about the cute guy with the deep voice who looked like Obama,\u201d she wrote in her Modern Love essay. But as they started dating, she found that their identities were intertwining and people were treating them differently just because they called themselves girlfriend and boyfriend. Haili longed for love but also for freedom and autonomy. Today\u2019s episode explores Haili\u2019s journey to nonmonogamy \u2014 and how, as a Black woman, she\u2019s navigated the expectations of her family and friends. Then we hear from Haili herself.