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Best friend and sportsball afficionado Jules Forde comes over to show me high school classic Dazed and Confused. Like all the greats, I compare it to American Graffitti, a movie I've ALSO never seen and can never spell. We talk baseball, what I THINK is cocaine and how great Parker Posey is.

Then I make him watch Cool Hand Luke and gush over effortlessness. I can't say the word "Cool" nearly enough, but boy do I try. Also I know almost no actor in the movie. I learned a lot and I had a great time.

BYE FOREVER.