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There's a silent, submersible killer stalking the canals of Amsterdam. Nobody is safe - not hookers, not sunbathers and certainly not the beautiful new girlfriend of the city's top cop. This shameless romp through 1980s horror and action tropes is perfect for a "so bad its good" midnight feature. Also, if you were a tourist, what monster would you rather be stalking you in the canals?

Motion Picture Terror Scale: 1. Quality: 4. Enjoyment: 5.

Articles mentioned in this episode:

"Interview with Dick Maas (Amsterdamned)" by Christian Sellers in Love it Loud

"Lo\xefs Lane - Amsterdamned," music video on YouTube

"Sinkholes, Collapsing Canal Walls, Rickety Bridges: Amsterdam Is Crumbling," by Thomas Erdbrink in The New York Times

"Rembrandt\u2019s Damaged Masterpiece Is Whole Again, With A.I.\u2019s Help," by Nina Siegal in The New York Times