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When you think you\u2019re talking to the authorities in Denmark, you\u2019re often not talking to the authorities.\xa0If\xa0it comes to bus service, train service, unemployment compensation, homeless shelters, construction, even fire protection and ambulance services \u2013 you will be talking to a private company hired by the authorities.

At any rate, some things are still run directly by the government, like the immigration service and local affairs.\xa0 So there are some times when you do need to speak to civil servants in Denmark. There is a way to do this.

Put at least a half an hour aside, since you may have to wait in a telephone queue.\xa0 When it\u2019s your turn, the first thing you do is identify yourself by name.\xa0 \u2018Hi, this is Kay Xander Mellish.\u201d\xa0 And then state your question. \u201cSomebody has drawn graffiti of a giant penis on the city-owned wall right outside my living room window.\xa0 Could you send someone to remove it?\u201d\xa0 That\u2019s an actual case, by the way.

When you speak to the Danish civil servant, tone is really important. \xa0Danes respond very badly to anger or conflict. You want to take the angle that we\u2019re equals all we want to do is get this problem solved together. You want to go in there with a positive, we can do it together! spirit.

Most state workers in Denmark are pretty competent.\xa0 Working for the state is paid well, and they never ask for bribes.\xa0 Like most Danes, they want to do their job well, and they feel that they do.\xa0 Danish civil servants take pride in their work.\xa0

That said, it still took six months to get that giant penis graffiti removed.

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