BROADCASTS.com

Published: Feb. 6, 2024, 10 a.m.

We are in February. And February, in the United States in particular, has to do with Valentine's Day and romantic relationships in specifically, but more in general, relationships and friendships. And so I have an interesting conversation with Elizabeth Laing Thompson about her new book, \u201cWhen a Friendship Falls Apart.\u201d I absolutely fell in love with her! It's a thick volume, especially by modern day standards where it seems like, publishing houses give us shorter and shorter books. This is not the case. Her book is a massive compilation of all the tips, all the advice, everything you need to know if you've ever been in a friendship that ended badly or that is going poorly or that has hurt you in any way, shape, or form. Through this book Elizabeth hopes to minister to those who are experiencing this often undiagnosed, unrecognized grief of friendship loss or friendship breakup, as she calls it. There are difficult emotions that accompany friendship hardship. So, she and I talk about important things, like:

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 friendship breakups: coping with loss and pain;

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 healing and forgiveness: overcoming bitterness;

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Biblical wisdom: applying Scripture to relationships;

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 trust and vulnerability: rebuilding connections;

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 grieving and mourning: processing friendship loss;

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 finding beauty in brokenness: embracing imperfections;

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 prayer and guidance: seeking God's direction.

\n

Elizabeth acknowledges that the hardest part in navigating a friendship breakup is finding the right people to talk to about it. She acts as this one friend you need. She keeps you company. She points you to Gospel counsel as you navigate the loss of the friendship as it was. And then she offers wisdom for navigating future friendships after a loss because that's absolutely key. How do you even dare to open your heart again after it's been wounded?

\n

She is grounded in Scripture. She points to God's views on forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing after hurt. And then she gives us the best practical tools for navigating those conversations. How do you initiate a reconciliation conversation? What words can you use that are going to be most productive without escalating potential conflict? She is blending personal story, biblical examples, faith filled wisdom. I love all of the many, many interactions with Scripture that she gives us.

\n

She asks, how do we guard against the poison of bitterness so we can process the hurt and move forward? Elizabeth talks about when and how we can seek this reconciliation and what does look like. And this is anything but cliche. I promise you that. How do we know if the time has come to actually leave a friendship behind? How do we open up again and then trust our freshly wounded hearts to new friendships?

\n

Friendship loss is this unique kind of grief. It's a private and confusing kind of grief. And as we struggle to digest the pain and we wonder, how could this happen? What do I do now? Elizabeth is here to help hurting hearts find healing, find lessons to learn from the past, and stay open to new friendships in the future. Again, it's so full of hope. Some of the key advice I will remember from the book are,

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Learn to navigate and overcome the pain and challenges of friendship breakups with grace and biblical wisdom.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Cultivate trust in relationships, acknowledging that past hurts can affect future connections but not define them.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 10. Find joy and hold onto positive memories even when some friendships can't be repaired, allowing healing to take place.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Protect your heart in extreme friendship scenarios by seeking comfort in prayer and scripture.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Give oneself permission to grieve and process the loss of friendships

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Seek beauty in broken friendships and adopt a more open-minded and accepting approach to making connections despite past hurts.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Bring fears and insecurities to God as a source of courage and guidance in seeking and fostering friendships.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Let God guide and protect in the process of building trust and forming meaningful connections.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Look ahead to the eternal promise of friendships in heaven, where unity and safety abound.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Reflect Jesus in current friendships and strive for unity, echoing His prayer for oneness in John 17.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Categorize friendships and address potential misunderstandings by applying practical tips and Scripture.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Understand and appreciate the concept of mismatched expectations in friendships to prevent conflicts and foster understanding.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Seek divine guidance, wisdom, courage, and the capacity to love and care for others within friendships through prayer.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Engage in the process of repairing broken relationships with humility, grace, and a desire for beauty in brokenness.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Root out bitterness and unforgiveness from friendships, replacing them with prayer and forgiveness to facilitate reconciliation.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Embrace the healing power of forgiveness and prayer, remembering that holding onto bitterness only causes further harm.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Find comfort in God as the perfect friend and reflect His love and forgiveness in all friendships.

\n

-\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 Treasure and honor the meaningful memories made within brokenness, seeing them as precious testaments to the resilience of relationships.

\n

\n

We have a beautiful free gift for you! Receive our 30-day summer prayer guide to guide you through a summer season of bounty, rest, sunshine, fellowship, and growth. All you need to do, is be subscribed to our newsletter to receive it automatically, or go to https://www.gospelspice.com/free\xa0to download it immediately.

\n

\xa0

\n

\n

Support us on Gospel Spice, PayPal and Venmo!