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b'General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues\\n\\nAdditional content note: war, medical operations, suicidal ideation\\n\\nI\\u2019m still pretty terrified of my dad stopping existing. He has been such a part of my life that it feels like a world without him in it is impossible. But ever since I was a child, I have been imagining that world. I\\u2019ve played out his death so many times. I\\u2019ve written it into fiction and songs. I\\u2019ve spent hours in my mind going through how it will be. What I might think and do. How it will affect me. How it will affect my family. And I\\u2019ve always thought it would probably happen soon. But it never has.\\n\\nThis episode is about confronting death and confronting love. It includes the story of my dad\'s war and of his heart attack and quadruple heart bypass.\\n\\nArtwork by my brother Tony Pickering:\\xa0http://www.pick-art.co.uk/\\n\\nThe BPA Fund has a survey that I\\u2019d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com\\n\\nFor some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a \\xa350 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey \\u201cGetting Better Acquainted\\u201d counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.'