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It is 4:52 PM.\xa0 Our flight took off at 4:35 PM.\xa0 Eder has finished drinking his milk.\xa0 He\u2019s done reading books.\xa0 He is not tired.\xa0 He does not want to sit still.\xa0 In seventeen minutes, he has already played with and discarded every toy in the diaper bag.\xa0 Now he\u2019s screeching.\xa0 Solomon and I are passing him back and forth, trying in vain to appease him.\xa0 The good news is there are only four hours and twenty-two minutes to go.

The woman seated in front of us turns around.\xa0 \u201cYou know, I think he\u2019s hungry,\u201d she says, \u201chave you tried giving him some milk?\u201d\xa0 Before I can answer, the woman next to me chimes in, \u201cthe problem is you fed him too soon. You should have waited.\xa0 Poor thing, his ears must be terribly painful. Put the pacifier in his mouth at least.\u201d\xa0 There\u2019s a tap on my shoulder.\xa0 A grandmother behind me disagrees.\xa0 \u201cI think he has gas.\xa0 Did you try moving his legs\u2014sometimes that helps to ease their tummies.\u201d \xa0Not to be left out, the woman across the aisle leans over.\xa0 \u201cDid you pack any socks for him?\xa0 He\u2019s cold\u2014look at his bare feet!\u201d\xa0 I look at my phone.\xa0 4:54 PM. There are only four hours and twenty to go.\xa0 There is nothing quite like flying the friendly skies with an eleven-month-old.

4:57 PM the seat belt sign finally turns off.\xa0 Solomon stands up and takes Eder to practice walking up and down the aisle.\xa0 The grandmothers swoon. He\u2019s such a good dad.\xa0 Look at him, bent over, walking with the baby.\xa0 Awww, he\u2019s so cute.\xa0 And so lucky to have a such a good dad.\xa0 I take out my iPad and begin furiously typing this sermon.

For me, the flight was a stark depiction of something I\u2019ve experienced often since becoming a mother.\xa0 Before Eder was born, I was never blamed for someone else\u2019s bad mood.\xa0 Honestly, there have been plenty of times I\u2019ve been in public with people who were grumpy or upset, even times when my congenial husband was not the cheeriest.\xa0 But at those times, no one would ever suggest that Solomon might be gassy or that I had packed him the wrong clothes.\xa0 But now, there is this sense if Eder is upset, it must be something that I either did or didn\u2019t do that made him feel that way.\xa0 I didn\u2019t know this, but there is a right way and a wrong way to mother.\xa0 The rule of thumb is whatever you\u2019re doing is wrong.

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