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The song I have sent you this week was one I came up with for Radio City\u2019s Norman Thomas back in the day\u2026.the one note song. It came about when someone told me they couldn\u2019t sing a note\u2026so I disagreed and that sparked off this song\u2026as EVERYONE can sing one note\u2026anywhere\u2026you could go into a pub in China and everyone could sing one note\u2026there are no language barriers or key problems\u2026.as the song explains.\nMaybe I was a bit ahead of my time\u2026.it did however make the local papers.\n \n2.This has reminded me of the guy at every wedding (usually Uncle Harry) who always wants to get up and give \u2018em a song at the end of the night with the full support of his family\u2026the song is generally \u201cSpanish Eyes\u201d which he warbles through singing the same note\u2026.and invariably goes down better than the band\u2026.who are frowned at by the bloke paying them wondering why they are getting paid and uncle Harry sang for nothing\u2026.the fact that the band have just done 3 hours and built the crowd up to the drunken crescendo they are in and Uncle Harry has sung the same note for 2 minutes\u2026.is somehow overlooked\u2026.it\u2019s a dream come true Simon.\n \n3..I\u2019m sure the victims of financial cuts are delighted to hear that Prince Andrew has just bought Fergie a 5 million pound chateau in Switzerland\u2026..or should I say WE have bought it?...nice to know he is so generous\u2026and there has been a disaster at Sandringham Palace!!\u2026..the poor pigeons are devastated because their loft is rotting away\u2026.but you\u2019ll be pleased to know the Queen has come to the rescue and had them a new one built for 40 grand\u2026. Her pigeons are reported to be delighted\u2026.and unseen photographs taken by lord Lichfield of Charles and Diana\u2019s wedding are about to go on sale in New York\u2026.and expected to fetch millions\u2026.hip hip hurrah!!!.....I\u2019m so pleased for them all.\n \n4.When I listen to the various dialects in this country I begin to despair\u2026.what happened to the English language\u2026.\u201dT\u201d seems to have vanished as youngsters now go to a par-y on sa-aday\u2026or \u201cI like i-\u201c\u2026and we have those dreadful Eastenders so called actors who replace \u201cT\u201d with \u201cF\u201d\u2026I FINK I\u2019ll do this and FINK I\u2019ll do that and has anyone seen Kaffy\u2026then we have Coronation Street with \u201cwe\u2019re goin\u2019 t\u2019 shops\u201d\u2026.it\u2019s awful and it\u2019s not difficult to pronounce words correctly\u2026.as we do on Merseyside\u2026.or maybe I\u2019m a bit biased?\n \n5.And on the subject of television\u2026.we have definitely hit an all time low\u2026.maybe it\u2019s me\u2026I don\u2019t know\u2026.but is ANYONE interested in embarrassing bodies?...people being brought into A & E?...third class actors being \u201ckilled off\u201d in soaps?...and now we have a plethora of \u201chappy family\u201d shows where ordinary members of families can win holidays\u2026.with one of them trying to be funny\u2026why should I care if someone I don\u2019t know wins a holiday?...I though we had seen the last of these dreadful cheap to make shows with the retirement of Bruce Forsyth....it\u2019s bad enough when celebs are involved but at least the money goes to charity.\nIf someone comes up with an alternative to television (and they probably will) they will clean up\u2026.sooner the better.